Cardigan Slip combo

For this cardigan look, the sweater serves as a blazer. A softer, more relaxed version. This is def a going out look. The Rag and Bone leather pants are a major staple in my closet. They were a splurge, but so worth it. They're incredibly versatile. You'll be seeing them a lot.

I found this ancient off white silk slip, that I remember was an underlay for an old dress. I think that dress involved eyelet and a sash (can you imagine me in that?? I guess I hadn't yet found myself). I'm glad I kept the slip. It's not that transparent so I can get away with using it as a dress or a top. Girls, always keep that stuff. Anything too see through or flimsy can always be used as a nightgown, on a non bleach stained boxer night😜.

I "slipped" this on and belted it with an edgy studded black belt. Black leather zipper heels which you've seen me wear many times. I am so uncomfortable in most heels. These are very wearable, despite the dominatrix effect. Lol, even those gals still need to buy milk and toilet paper🚽.

Lastly, the cardigan thrown over softens all the edges of the overall look, bringing a great mix of sass and "silky smooth". Thank you, Zohan!  Leather, hardware, silk, black, white, and a little unexpected preppie vibe from the cardigan makes a cool combo. If your slip truly isn't see through, ditch the pants and just use this look as a dress based idea. Everything else can stay the same. When the sweater comes off, it's still all perfection. Smoky eye, nude lip, loose hair. Just keep this ensemble for nighttime. This is trying way too hard during daylight hours. However, if you're killing it, hopefully after your big night out, you'll still be awake to catch some daylight creeping in. If you're too tired to even find those aforementioned bleach stained boxers, just ditch everything else and sleep in the slip. Hope you have fun, lemme know where to meet ya‼️

Foiled Again

This year, I'm all about the shine factor. If you're paying attention, you may note that this is not my first red pantsuit. I mean, how many does one really need, but the liquid shimmer drew me in here. Despite how uncomfortably skintight this may seem, there's a generous amount of stretch in the fabric that makes it very wearable. This outfit is not for the faint of heart. It's clearly a bold statement, even in its cleanliness. It's just three classic pieces; a legging, a tank, and a blazer. That's it. I put this on and all else simply "follows suit". Nightlife, I'm coming for you tonight.

Outfit aside, let's talk about the photograph itself. I love how Rachel, the fashion photographer, took this in my kitchen. Using my oven as the central prop lends cool symbolism to the shot. This picture represents much about me as a person. I'm highly domestic, and feel most at home well, in my home. My kitchen is my laboratory. I happily spend hours upon hours cooking and baking, while dancing and singing. I am quite often a homebody. I love arranging knickknacks, setting a beautiful table, choosing the right flowers, and thinking of creative ways to entertain. I absolutely love being a stay at home mother. Only now that my youngest is 7, am I just starting to venture out of my routine. Which is amazing, it's bringing balance into my life. Just as marriage doesn't mean stability, divorce doesn't mean instability. Your personal life doesn't define who you are. You probably think it does, as I did, but it doesn't. It certainly shouldn't. Personal status is a part of your life, a very important part, but it's not a reflection of who you are inside.

I've started to think of it like this; when God was mixing me in His own laboratory 39 years ago, and putting all sorts of ingredients into me, I'm certain He wasn't thinking, "I'm going to make this baby. She will drive carpool and go to the supermarket once a week. She will collapse if certain chapters of her life are different than what her community thinks they should be. She will serve her family and be sure her own truths are unimportant. She will exist only for others until she dies, at which point her eulogy will be interchangeable with other women she knew and didn't particularly like."  Um, I don't think so.

I believe in God completely, and I don't believe in One that doesn't believe in His own creations. That doesn't believe in us. If we love and trust God, we trust His intentions when He mixed each one of us. He's waaay too smart than to just create a bunch of yentas on a carpool line, right?? So often, there is tremendous guilt and suspicion embedded in religion. It's really very sad. Many people I know, good people, automatically jump to the conclusion that they're being punished by God if something goes wrong in their life. I thought this way until recently too. It's how we have been programmed, conditioned. It's a real shame to have been taught fear instead of love and trust. Nothing good comes from the former. Everything good comes from the latter.

I recently had a talk with one of my kids who thought if he did something that violated the sabbath (iPad related), God would punish him. This saddened me. It's not why his dad and I pay a fortune to send him to private school. I answered him that maybe we don't use our iPad on the sabbath for other reasons, but I assured him that he's a good boy, God knows that, God loves him, and doesn't want to punish him. I want my kids to love Judaism, not exist within it as fearful robots. Children conditioned to be afraid and guilt ridden become adults that carry that bullshit around with them their whole lives. That's not honoring God, it's actually an insult. I want my kids to thank me for giving them a cup of water because it's simply the right thing to do, not because they're afraid I'll yell and punish them if they don't. How little do they think of me if I'd punish them so quickly for any minor infraction?? God doesn't want to hurt us, He wants to help us. He trusts you more than you think, so trust Him back. To trust yourself means you have to know yourself. Really know yourself so doubt doesn't creep in and take over. This takes a lot of mental work, especially when you have to undo years and years of negative programming.

It's a huge point of frustration for me that religion is often based on externals. How we dress, how often we go to synagogue etc. Who cares how you dress if that clothing houses a not very nice person? Does it matter if you went to synagogue ten times in one day, if all you were thinking about was anything other than prayer? I hate that. I feel no less spiritual and proud of my Judaism in a bikini, than I do fasting on Yom Kippur. It's in my heart and my soul, so for me it just doesn't matter what people think they see on the outside. It's so superficial. It must stop. The judgement is completely out of control. We act towards others the way we act towards ourselves first. If you want a life where you try not to judge others, it won't happen unless you stop judging yourself. It just won't. It all works together in one direction, the right direction. Perhaps one of the most ubiquitous statements I hear is "I don't judge." Non judgmental people don't talk like that. I know like two, by the way. They don't need to make a declaration because in their hearts they know they're that way.  It's rare to be sure of who you are, which is why most people are constantly trying to prove to others that they are certain things.

Going back to the shiny, red suit. Red is a color not worn in certain sects of Judaism. It's considered inappropriate to wear such a bold color, immodest. I went to a high school that taught that, so I know. We were once instructed not to wear red on a class trip. In 2017, this is Lady Blaga: she wears red. She loves being bold, yet introverted at times. She bakes cookies, makes her bubbie's chicken soup every week, yet she started a kick ass blog. She prays very intently, yet is in DJ school. She is divorced but loves her family more than anything. She is incredibly warm and inviting, yet protective of her space. She lights sabbath candles every week , yet may have a cool photo shoot planned for Tuesday. It all matters. None of it matters. If you're not hurting anyone, and are in fact helping, just do your thing. Shine from within. Always start from within. Thank you for reading this. It felt good to write it.

Love, LB

RED-iculous

J'adore this tomato red dress! Everything about it appealed to me; the color, the asymmetry, the mix of shredded femininity. The hue is so bold, the tiny buttons so demure anddelicate. This piece is one stop shop; you need nothing else to drive home this look. It speaks for itself. It's by a designer I'm just learning about, thanks to my friend Gito. The designer is Magda Butrym. I even love her name! I love the combo of bright red and yellow gold accessories, but I kept it as minimal as possible. With the side parted glam hair, and the photographer telling me to twirl, I felt very old Hollywood glamour. Which led me to think of Marilyn Monroe in the classic film "The Seven Year Itch", in that famous white dress billowing up scene. Which then led me to think about emotional asymmetry. Let me explain. As we all know, despite her tremendous fame and following, world admired beauty, and enviable sex appeal, Marilyn was an extremely lonely woman. She was very open about this. There was such deep sadness underneath her worshipped exterior. Her legions of fans, numerous movie roles, or famous love interests played no part in easing her inner turmoil. It probably made it worse, with all the public pressures and expectations to be who the world wanted her to be. So often, the loneliest place to be is a crowded room. Living near Manhattan, I think about this a lot.

Watching all the hustle and flow of the city, the thousands of people coming and going at breakneck speed, is a recipe for loneliness if you aren't in an assured place in your life. All these people, and not one of them notices you. It's very easy to feel invisible amongst the masses. The public saw Marilyn in the way the studios packaged and delivered her. The contents of that package were unimportant and irrelevant. She knew this, she was not a dumb blonde. Out of all the negative human emotions we are capable of feeling, I think loneliness is the most destructive. It's what often leads to suicide. Rage, sadness, and insecurity aren't fun, but if an angry person feels love, they can probably exist without harming themselves. There are anti anxiety medications, anti depression medications, and various types of anger management therapies. There's no pill to take if you feel lonely, isolated, and misunderstood. I'm not referring to clinical depression, I mean the notion of loneliness on it's own. There isn't a prescription that can be filled out to cure one of feeling unseen and ignored. Humans are meant to connect with other humans. That has nothing to do with being shy or outgoing, popular or unpopular. It's a human need that if not met, causes the world to feel like a horribly lonely place to be. A place some people would rather exit than remain in. Loneliness leads to many forms of addiction, as a means of escape.

I see this more and more in my neighborhood. Life, relationships to children,  marriages, or personal fulfillment are not what the expectation was. An escape is necessary to literally take people out of their own heads. Incessant shopping, binge eating, even gossip is a form of addiction. People get addicted to talking about the lives of others in order to avoid dealing with their own life. I think even running errands constantly, or organizing your pantry like the guy that pulverized Julia Roberts in "Sleeping With the Enemy", are also means of distraction. At the stage of life where we don't have babies at home to take up all our time and energy, since the kids are in school full time, your own home can feel incredibly lonely. Silence can be very scary, since all you hear are your own thoughts, and you don't want to hear your truth since it may implode your carefully constructed life. The dress, Marilyn, the concept of imbalance, all compare to the vast challenges of living in an age of social media.

Take Instagram, where people feel validated or loved based on how many followers they have. It can be such fake bullshit; a person with a billion followers can secretly be beyond miserable. I admit that anyone, including myself, could be seen as a hypocrite, since I'm in fact using social media for my own purposes. Social media can promote major asymmetry in our minds, since we are constantly tricked into false security and illusions. People post photos in order to get likes. Likes are dangerous when we rely on them for validation. Anyone who posts a ton of stuff, then claims they don't give a shit what anyone thinks of them, is lying to themselves. They need the likes just as they need to pee; it's a relief. Likes feel good. You feel seen, appreciated, momentarily important. This is a drug like any other. It's very scary raising kids in this era. How can we teach our kids to feel genuine love and security when they are basing those feelings on how many people liked the snapchat photo of them looking like a deer on acid??? I don't get the whole snapchat thing, but I'm always very late to any tech party. My kids try to convince me that the filters are cool. I think they're ridiculous, and tell them I don't have any desire to see their perfect faces distorted. I can't stand it. I like seeing them as is. I want others to see me as is, not a purported vision of me. I know I put myself out there, so anyone that can't see me clearly doesn't belong in my life.

I've said that before, and I'll keep holding on to that. I don't want a ton of superficial connections, I'd rather a few true, deep ones. No one admits to wanting otherwise, but most people don't live by that. You've never heard someone say, "I prefer to have a lot of phony relationships instead of three friendships of quality". Yet, so many still seem to be running for mayor. It's a huge challenge to remind ourselves that all we really need is within us, when the undertow of social media can drown us. But we can look at it like this; it is the very challenge of asymmetry that will keep us balanced. We, myself as well, must work harder to weed out inauthenticity. We must constantly teach ourselves what's real and what's not. We will be stronger when we internalize this. There is many a night I've wasted trolling things on Instagram that have zero to do with me. I always hate myself for it after. It's so stupid, and I know better. But I get sucked in. I've never thought,"wow, what a fulfilling evening I just had, perusing the accounts of complete strangers. Now I can sleep peacefully, knowing what so and so did for vacation three years ago. " In yoga, you do the exact same movements on both sides of the body. Achieving balance takes focus and commitment. It's not always easy, but it sure feels good when everything in our lives is aligned. It is both our right and responsibility to maintain balance. No one can mess with your center. If there's someone who throws you out of whack, that is a sign to perhaps let them go. Only keep those who really see you for you. If the most famous woman in the world had this problem, chances are the rest of us can relate. Go ahead, it's ok to post stuff and check your IG. I'm going to also. Just understand how meaningless it is. Oh, and wear something red ❣❣🖍🖍, I think that was the original purpose to this article ❌⭕️❌⭕️.

Skirt Stake

 Stake your claim in Fashion Land. Ooh, there should totally be a board game like that ‼️ Picture Candy Land, but instead of sweets, there can be articles of clothes on the cards. Little Anna Wintour and Karl Lagerfeld figurines. If you get a "weight gain" card, you're ejected from the game. If Chanel begs to dress you, skip ahead ten spaces! If you do that stupid lemon juice and cayenne pepper cleanse before Fashion Week, advance one space for every day you've done it. This joke is endless 🍭🍥🍬...

Imagine giving this to your niece on Christmas or Hannukah. Child psychological nightmare 🙀. But I digress.

Week 2 of the bodysuit two ways , has us wearing still a skirt, yet a completely different style. This off white, feathered one is short and playful. I debated buying it. I wasn't sure if I looked like Bridal Party BigBird. So happy I got it! It's a fabulous party look. A two piece ensemble is such a fresh break from a classic cocktail dress. It's cooler since more thought is required. Yet, this great black Margiela bodysuit makes any outfit easy. Once it's snapped on, you can throw so much over it.

For synagogue, I just wear a black boyfriend cut blazer over it. I'll usually wear this long, silver pendant I love. I referenced that piece in one of my previous posts about handmade Yemenite jewelry from Israel. And long silver or pewter tone will work here. It's softer than gold, and there's such a softness to the skirt due to the color and feathery detail. This can be worn with heels or cool flats, just like the first skirt look. But an uncomplicated shoe; none of that gladiator nonsense here. Don't compete with the skirt. Let the outfit breathe.

Bonus bodysuit look 3: stand in front of a floor length mirror, put on black stilettos, pouf your hair up. Put on "Single Ladies". Let shit get real with that choreography. Not that I've ever actually done that before 🙈🎤👠💋💄. 

Live large, Ladies. Life is too short. We must keep finding different ways to approach and enjoy our time here.