Herbert Pagani, Pleading for my land.

Last Night, I was in the subway when I heard two ladies say:
" Did you see these Jews with their stories at the U.N.? What jerks! "
It's true. We are jerks. For centuries we have been the world's jerks. It's in our nature, what can you do?
Abraham with his single God, Moses with his 10 Commandments, Jesus with his second cheek always available for a second slap, then Freud, Marx, Einstein, all were intruders, revolutionaries, enemies of the Order.
Why?
Because no order, whatever the century, could satisfy them - since they were always excluded. To call everything in question, to see further, changing the world to change their destiny, such was the destiny of my Ancestors.
This is why the defenders of all established orders hate them.
- The anti-Semite of the right blames the Jews for having executed the Bolshevik revolution. It's true: there were many of them, in 1917.
- The anti-Semite of the left blames the Jews for owning Manhattan. It's true: there are many Jewish capitalists.
The reason is simple: religion, culture, and the revolutionary ideal on the one hand, stocks and banks on the other, are the only transportable values, the only possible country for those that do not have a country.
And now that there is a country, Anti-Semitism reappears from its ashes… - Sorry! From OUR ashes - and it's called anti-Zionism! It used to be applied only to individuals; it is now applied to a country.
Israel is a ghetto - Jerusalem is Warsaw… The Nazis who besiege us speak Arabic!
And if their crescent is sometimes disguised in a sickle, that's simply for better trapping the liberal leftists of the world.
I, who am a Jew of the left, I don't care about a certain left that wants to free all men of the world at the expense of some of them - because I am precisely one of these!
I support class struggle, but I also support the right to be different. If the left wants to count me among its members, it cannot exclude my problem.
And my problem is that since the Roman deportations of the 1st century after Jesus-Christ, everywhere we went we were expelled, dishonored, banished, tracked, denounced, crushed, burned and converted by force!
Why?
Because our religion - i.e. our culture was dangerous. Some examples:
· Judaism was the first to create the Shabbath, the day of God, i.e. the day of weekly mandatory rest. You imagine the joy of the Pharoes, always late in building the next pyramid.
· Judaism prohibits slavery. You can imagine the sympathy of the Romans, the most significant wholesalers of free labor of the Antiquity.
· It is said in the Bible: "The earth does not belong to man, but to God." From this sentence a law is created, the automatic handing-over of real-estate every 49 years. You imagine the effect of such a law on the Popes of the Middle Ages and the builders of empires during the Renaissance.
It was imperative that the people do not learn the truth.
They started by banishing the Bible, then were the libels: walls of defamation that became walls of stone that were called ghettos.
Then it was the Inquisition, the flames and later the yellow stars.
Auschwitz is only an industrial example of genocide, but there were thousands of hand-made genocides. It would take me three days only to name all the pogroms of Spain, Russia, Poland and North Africa.
By continuing to flee and to move, the Jew went everywhere. One extrapolates: he ends up being from nowhere.
We are among the people like the welfare child. I don't want to be adopted any more. I don't want for my life to depend on my owners' mood any more. I don't want to be a "citizen-renter" any more.
I have enough of knocking at History's doors and waiting until I'm told: "Enter". I enter and I yell! I am at home on earth and on earth I have my land: she was promised to me, she will be mine!
What is Zionism? It's reduced to a simple sentence: "Next year in Jerusalem."
No, it's not a slogan of the Club Med. It's written in the Bible, the book that has sold more copies and has been misunderstood more than any other book in the world.
And this prayer became a roar, a roar that is over 2000 years old, and the fathers of Columbus, Kafka, Proust, Chagall, Marx, Einstein, and even Mr. Kissinger, repeated this sentence, this roar, at least once a year, on Passover.
Then, is Zionism equal to Racism? Don't make me laugh! Is "Soft France, dear country of my childhood" ( "Douce France, cher pays de mon enfance" ) a racist anthem? Zionism is the name of a struggle for freedom!
In the world, everybody has its Jews. The French have theirs: they are the Breton, Occitans, Corsicans, and the immigrant workers. The Italians have Sicilians; the Americans have their Blacks; the Spaniards their Basques.
We, we are EVERYBODY'S Jews.
To those that tell me: "And the Palestinians?", I answer: "I am a 2000 year-old Palestinian. I am the oldest oppressed man in the world."
I will negotiate with them, but I will not yield my place to them. There's enough space there for two people and two nations. The borders are to be determined together. But the existence of one country cannot in any case exclude the existence of the other. And the political options of a government never called into question the existence of a nation, whatever the nation.
Then why Israel?
When Israel is out of danger, I will choose among Jews and my Arab neighbors, those who are my brothers by ideas.
Today, I must be united with all of my people, even those whom I hate, in the name of this insurmountable enemy: RACISM.
Descartes was wrong: "I think, therefore I am" doesn't mean anything. We have been thinking for 5000 years, and we still don't exist!

I defend myself, therefore I am!

Pretty in Plaid

I’m super into plaid skirts right now. I haven’t been interested in this style in decades, possibly since high school. I’m wearing them with a chunky, oversized turtleneck, tights, and well worn mini boots. I also love a longer length skirt with a higher boot. This is a style I’d have fully eschewed ( SAT word!) until this season. It’s frustrating to think back on what I’ve given away over the years, only to want to dive into certain fashions again. Oh well, lesson learned; always keep the good stuff no matter what. Here are some well priced brands of cute plaids that are perfect for holiday season.

Buddhish

This is a very personal style post for obvious reasons. I debated whether or not to share what I wear for formal zen practice; It’s so private and sacred, yet my goal (and joy) on this blog is to reveal myself to whomever is interested. I got the Soto zen robe in preparation for receiving the precepts at the end of August, in a ceremony called Jukai. The bib like rakusu I sewed myself (with great difficulty but with much support). The base of the rakusu is called the rice field. The red seals are from my teacher when he wrote my dharma name and the details of the ceremony. I received my rakusu and name in public at the ceremony, and it was one of the most defining moments of my life. I was sobbing. Before putting on my rakusu, I place it on my head with the white side folded up and say this prayer, “Vast is the robe of liberation, a formless field of benefaction. I wear the Thatagatha’s teaching, saving all sentient beings”. It’s a vow to act in a way that’s beneficial to myself and all others. The idea of the never ending possibilities for inner and outer freedom comfort me. Having grown up steeped in Jewish ritual, these kinds of prayers and practices are familiar to me. I love symbolic ritual and I’m grateful it has a positive and joyous association for me. My antique Jewish star necklace is equally a part of this post. I am a Jew and a Buddhist. Both of these spiritual approaches feel right and fulfilling. They provide guidance in ways that are both different and similar. I believe there are many paths to reach the same destination. However we get there we get there. There’s no one fixed route. Both my Judaism and Buddhist practice give my life a shape, comfort, and safety that helps me live a rich life. I didn’t feel as much grounding and connecting without the Buddhist piece, as much as I love being Jewish and take it very seriously. It’s such a gift to be able to merge both of these systems into my daily life. They are equally important and fulfilling to me. Whether it’s a yalmuka, Tallis, or a rakusu; to me there’s no difference. Inclusion, curiosity, learning new things, widening out. I am here to live in a large way, and I recall many years living with a closed, tight heart and a mind that saw things rigidly out of a false sense of safety and control. It did not feel good or natural. Exploration of this one amazing life is natural and essential for me. I’m really proud of the unique spiritual path I have begun to carve out. It took a long time to get here. I feel at home in my body, mind, heart, and soul being guided by my Jewish faith and heritage, as well as my ancient and current Buddhist ancestors. I truly feel blessed and deeply held. My necklace says “am yisrael chai” which means “the nation of Israel lives”. I feel I best honor my Judaism by incorporating Buddhist wisdom and ethics into my life. It better prepares me for the world, and for me, the deepest way I can do Hashem’s work is by softening, grounding, and opening up to the whole world with all joys and sorries, miseries and mysteries. We are innately vast. We can hold endless discoveries and learnings. We are never done.

Broccoli Burgers

Psyched about this one! I didn’t want to go the typical burger on a bun route, and I came up with a deconstructed burger situation that’s a complete plate. Please meet the “broccoli burger salad”. Delicious, fresh burgers on a bed of kale/sprouts slaw coated in a Dijon vinaigrette with roasted tomatoes and onions. Sliced pickles for the win. See? We have our burger with all the fixings prepared in a clean, satisfying way. This can be plated individually or on a large platter for a crowd. It’s a fabulous vegetarian main that looks colorful and appetizing, and it tastes even better. Holiday hint: these broccoli burgers can surely be used as an alternative type of latke for Chanukah.

Ingredients for 12 burgers:
20 oz riced broccoli. If frozen, thaw and drain and dry well.
1/2 cup chopped flat lead parsley
5 tbsp your choice of flour or corn meal to use as a binder, have more on hand as needed
2 tsp salt
1 tsp EACH curry powder, black pepper, paprika, garlic powder, and cumin
2 large beaten eggs
Four plum tomatoes, halved
Two red onions, quartered
2 to 4 cups mixed greens of your choice. I used kale and shaved Brussels sprouts for a crunchy contrast. Use a cup and a half to two cups per person.
Pickles sliced lengthwise or on the bias
*adjust the amount of pickles, tomatoes, and onions per person as needed

Simple vinaigrette of olive oil, lemon juice, Dijon mustard, white wine vinegar, salt and pepper. I did 1/3 cup each of the oil and lemon and a tbsp each of the vinegar and mustard. Tsp salt and 1/2 tsp pepper or as you like. Adjust amount per how many cups of greens.

Mix all ingredients well in a large bowl, adding more of your preferred binder if needed. I did have to add during my patty forming process if there was too much accumulation of water. The patties have to be dry enough to keep their shape. Heat a large skillet with your preferred frying oil (I use canola). Prep a plate or pan with paper towels to absorb excess oil after the burgers are removed when done.
Using a slotted spoon to drain excess liquid, take a mound of the mixture and shape into burger form. Carefully slide into the hot pan. Cook for several minutes until golden brown on each side, using two spatulas to gently turn over. Place burgers on top of paper towels.
Mix the cut onions and tomatoes with olive oil, salt, and pepper. Roast in a 400 degree oven for about 20 minutes until they’re fork tender and begin to brown.
Make the vinaigrette and toss with the greens. Arrange greens on a flat platter or plate. Place burgers on top in the middle. Surround with the tomatoes, onions, and pickles, taking care to balance the colors for a nice presentation.

Warm Tones

Let’s break down this look:
Oversized, chunky turtleneck sweater
Sparkly pants
Off white boots
Statement earrings close to the ear (vs hanging)
Loose bun

I can’t tell you how happy I was in this outfit. I felt seasonally delish, cozy, playful, and warm. Only the boots are new, I’ve had the other pieces for years. I’m loving the the off white “after Labor Day”. I think winter whites and creams are so chic, especially contrasted with darker tones. Note the cream pumpkin:). The fun pants lend contrast to the heavy sweater, and the slight tuck gives shape to my silhouette. Easy looking hair in a bun doesn’t compete with the earrings and large scale turtleneck. This is a great template for the nearing holiday season. Goals: warmth and whimsy mixed with dashes of classic chic (as in the turtleneck and trouser shapes). Putting a pumpkin on your head never hurts either, unless of course you drop it.

Sweet Potato Galette

Countdown to Thanksgiving, one of my favorite holiday meals to prepare. This savory galette is a beautiful addition to any table. It can be served as an appetizer or side dish. Using store bought pizza dough, one of my go to hacks, this gorgeous recipe looks way harder to make than it is. It slices so well into wedges, making it the perfect pairing with a plated salad appetizer or hearty soup. It’s a showstopper as a whole as well.

Ingredients:
3 long and thin sweet potatoes, peeled and sliced into 1/4 to 1/8 inch rounds
Store bought pizza dough
One egg; the egg yolk is mixed with a tbsp of water, separate the white into another bowl
Cinnamon sugar mix
2 tsp chopped fresh rosemary

Oven to 400. Spread the sliced sweet potatoes on a sprayed pan in a single layer. Brush or spray with olive oil, lightly sprinkle salt and pepper. Bake for 15 minutes or until tender.
Prep a large pan with sprayed parchment paper and set aside. Roll out the pizza dough on a well floured bored to the size of a large personal pizza. Brush some of the beaten egg yolk all over, leaving a two inch border. Transfer dough to baking sheet. Sprinkle some cinnamon sugar atop the egg washed dough, then layer the sweet potatoes in an even, overlapping pattern. Fold over the sides of the dough border, pinching to seal. I like to use some water to ensure a closed pinch. You should have a 2 to 3 border to enclose the galette. Brush the border with the remaining yolk wash. Brush the sweet potatoes with the egg white. Sprinkle more cinnamon sugar around the dough border. Sprinkle the chopped Rosemary atop the sweet potatoes and some around the edges. Bake at 350 for about 30 minutes, until the crust is golden brown.
I suggest a rustic platter and serving piece to compliment the seasonal mood of this dish. I loved the doughy thickness here, but you can also divide the pizza dough into halves. This will give you a thinner dough and an extra portion to make two of these for a large crowd, or to use in another vegetable variation. Options!

Zen Wisdom

https://open.spotify.com/episode/3GQEfEc49NTUFL4W5R3W7r?si=P3b9_G8HRTu5mq1ILsi1KQ

I’m so grateful for my zen teacher, Dr. Sensei Kōshin Paley Ellison. One of my favorite things about zen is that it’s so practical. There’s this idea that it’s this lofty, unattainable way of being that’s not very realistic. It can be thought of as too removed from the shit box that is often real life. I can tell you after a couple years of practice that’s it’s hands down the most practical way of dealing with cold, hard reality. One need not shave their head and become a monastic on a mountain top to follow a zen Buddhist path. Zen uses such clarity and truth to deal with the tangled mess of life. I thank God every day that I found this path. It has been medicinal in every way. Kōshin has a weekly podcast that is full of relatable wisdom teachings. He has a modern and often humorous delivery that brings ancient, timeless wisdom into the here and now. I wanted to share this with you. It’s very dear to my heart and life, as are all of you.

Listen to Your Love- The Outfield

listen to Leon Bridges - Coming Home

Pumpkin PB Cookie Dough Bites

There’s not one word in that title that’s not appealing to me. Pumpkin everything cuz yes, am I right? These delicious lil bites were a snap to make and used a few clean ingredients. I pop one or two for a satisfying midday treat with an iced coffee, or for a guilt free dessert. They store in the fridge for a week, or the freezer for up to 6. Such a fabulous, seasonal treat to have on hand during holiday time.

Ingredients:
1 1/2 cups old fashion oats
1/3 cup shelled hemp seeds
1/2 cup natural peanut or almond butter
1/2 cup pumpkin purée
1/3 cup pure maple syrup
1 tsp vanilla
3/4 cup chocolate chips. I used sugar free Lily’s)

Combine all ingredients except chocolate chips in a food processor. Pulse to form a dough. Mix in chips. Place in a bowl covered in plastic wrap in the fridge for an hour to overnight (prep hack!). The dough should be firm enough to easily form into balls. When ready, form into bite size balls. Store in an airtight container lined with parchment paper.
If you’re offering these for dessert, keep cold in fridge until right before serving so they keep their shape. Platter then cover with plastic wrap and refrigerate, for quick and efficient fridge to table.

OG LBD

The NYC skyline needs no accessorizing, especially as day turns to evening. It’s a magical sight that never gets old for me. It’s amazing; we think we need so much and yet a view or a sunset can be enough to stop time. It’s as if the illuminated skyline puts all the roiling mental activity to bed, even if for a few moments. Such a gift, and we get it every day.
A classic LBD never disappoints, making it the perfect gold standard evening look against the backdrop of an NYC rooftop view. Let’s face it; a little black dress is just that. It’s reliable in its chic sexiness. What can make it more distinguishing are the details. It’s safe to assume that at any event, especially in Manhattan, there will be a bunch of women wearing an LBD, so I look for pops of tailoring that will set mine apart. Even in black I don’t wish to blend into the crowd. The top of this dress is cut on an angle and held up by a single diagonal spaghetti strap. The dress is evening length with a high side slit. It’s satin and bias cut. I mixed up the look with a sheer blue oversized top when I needed some breeze coverage, a nice change from typical toppers. I do love a good blazer, though; cropped, boyfriend, or tuxedo styles all work here. A black dress has built in edge that can carry a look. It, like our aforementioned city skyline, needs nothing else. It’s a whole mood on its own.

#Goals

As you prepare for the upcoming week, here are a three questions to contemplate:

1.) What is a new pattern I can work on that I would be proud to have made progress toward come next week?

2.) What is something I can do this week for pure enjoyment, without concern or need for progress?

3.) If this were my last week on earth, how would I relate to myself, my family, my community, and the earth?

The questions above were just texted to me from Cory Muscara, spiritual motivational guide on social media. I love how certain teachers and healers on the gram have a daily text community. I always find these prompts and affirmations helpful and grounding. These questions came at the perfect time, since I’m making today’s post about the television show Ted Lasso. My boys and I are currently obsessed with this series. Friends of mine had been telling me for awhile to watch it, and I knew that it was hugely popular and critically acclaimed. My impression was that it was a feel good show that would be nice and light, not my usual thing to watch. I took a crack at it a few weeks ago and am completely in love, not to mention the joy of watching it with my sons. It’s such a quality show that moves me for so many reasons, none of which are unexpected. Therein lies the magic of Ted Lasso; this formula is as old as time. It’s not a revolutionary feat of originality, yet it’s so deeply impactful. The positive, encouraging, genuine coach who turns a disjointed team into a family. The scheming boss who is won over and reformed by unfamiliar kindness. The various characters who have never known such care and respect, who can now feel valued so as to bring forth their best selves. None of this is unique and maybe that’s why Ted Lasso has become such a smashing success. Ted Lasso is that rare gem of a person who is so full of love that he pours it onto all on his midst. He improves each situation and relationship he enters with his presence, belief, and faith. He is a real deal light-worker. There’s an innocent purity to this character that is so uplifting. Every single one of us, whether we know it or not, needs to be loved, encouraged, and believed in. It’s remarkable and heartbreaking as to how much. We are designed for deep connection, to ourselves and others. We really matter to one another. Without such connections we become calcified with the pain of disconnect. Ted Lasso is a virtuoso in true connection, and so his presence becomes medicinal for everyone he comes into contact with. His unshakable belief in his colleagues, bosses, and players starts to peel off layers of hardened disappointment and emotional isolation. He helps the other characters do exactly as the above questions prompt; create new habits and patterns, find joy in their daily lives, and build and repair close and meaningful connections. These actions, like the questions, never get old. They are always so important in reminding us about how precious our lives are. Just as important are the people in our lives who remind us that we matter. That we are loved, held, supported, and believed in. These are the presences in our lives who are medicinal for us. No one can go through life alone. We need our guides, our teammates, and our cheerleaders. We need people to forgive us, lovingly correct us, and allow us to work out our shit on them (obviously not in an abusive or mean way). We need people who love us enough to truly be there in an unconditionally loving and supportive way. “Unconditional love” is a term that gets thrown around and misused. Easy to say, hard to do. Sadly, so many people give love highly conditionally but they themselves don’t even know the difference. When you find your person or people who are indeed there for you unconditionally, hold onto them as you would a precious gem. Hokey? Sure. Unoriginal? Of course. Because good ol’ fashioned qualities like love, trust, belief, kindness, goodness, unity, and connectivity will never be outdated or unneeded. It’s these offerings that people are starving for, and so it’s these offerings that have the power to change lives. The actual hunger to be seen, valued, loved, and supported is all too real. Ted Lasso serves this all up from the deepest place within his own heart. He gives with no attachment, the purest form of giving. It’s people like this, both real and fictional, who help us heal and hopefully pay it forward.
What are your goals this week to better care for both yourself and others? What other questions can you add to Cory’s list, in the service of personal and interpersonal expansion and connection?

listen to Gnarls Barkley - Crazy

The Ruby Cocktail

I am the furthest thing from a mixologist and I don’t drink much. The taste just isn’t often my thing and I’ve never had trouble joining the dance floor. I don’t like wine, but I do enjoy the occasional social drink (or 3). I concocted this yummy cocktail for my big Rosh Hashanah meal. I had it passed around on trays as my guests arrived. It definitely set the tone for a fun and festive night ahead. I call it The Ruby because of the special ice cubes that are the crown jewels of the drink. Freezing fresh, bright pomegranate seeds in a single large ice cube looks gives off a sparkly, bejeweled effect. As the ice melts, the pomegranate seeds become a welcome addition to the experience. You can certainly use standard ice trays, but it’s truly worth the effort of purchasing large ice cube molds. You’ll find many uses for them (think coffee ice cubes so as not to dilute your latte). This is a lovely, simple drink to serve for the upcoming holidays.

You’ll need:
Pomegranate juice
Vodka
Diet Sprite or Fresca
Pomegranate seeds, a tbsp per ice cube/drink

To make:
A night or 2 before using, place a tbsp of fresh pomegranate seeds and water in your ice molds and freeze.
Place one ice cube in each glass.
Add your desired ratio of vodka and pomegranate juice. Add a shot or 2 of the soda to fizz and sweeten. Start with less and add as needed to create your ideal mix of tart, sweet, and boozy. L’chaim!!!

Pajama Patterns

I consider a chic, pajama like silk suit as THE perfect integration look. Post pandemic realness. It’s as if covid birthed it’s own genre of fashion. Everything blurred, merging all genres of clothing. Pajamas, loungewear, athleisure, and black tie all rolled into one giant WTF. What’s a girl to do when she actually needs to leave her house and slowly exit the spaceship? She keeps it comfortable and cool with a number like this Scotch and Soda pantsuit. I love how this reads as both fancy pjs and a legit suit. It’s the perfect marriage of unfussy dressy, practicality, and personality. I love whimsical patterns. The bright red seahorses over the navy background gives this outfit bold humor. It’s great when clothes don’t take themselves too seriously without sacrificing quality and tailoring. A navy heel with silver detail gives height and a flattering leg. And how chic is a loose, effortless bun? A key detail for me in fashion is the presence of effortlessness, as I often mention. No one ever has to know your process, whether it takes you an hour and a half to get ready or 20 minutes. Adding the chill factor with hair, makeup, or accessories is a good way to keep it light.

Misery Muscle

Can we as Jews remember our pain without continuously choosing to reactivate our suffering? This was part of an interesting discussion I had with one of my wisest friends. She posed the question and I’d never thought of this before. It immediately brought to mind the bitter tears we literally eat on Passover, the noisemakers used to drown out the maniacal anti semite du jour (Haman) on Purim, all of Tisha B’av during which we read “lamentations”, and these are but a few examples. The Jewish wedding ceremony even includes the prayer for remembering Jerusalem; if we don’t then maybe our right hands be cut off! YIKES. Not very festive and wedding appropriate. And then there’s perhaps the biggest directive to Never Forget in response to the Holocaust, the biggest Jewish genocide in modern history. My friend was envisioning a possible way in which we as Jews can celebrate and honor our rich heritage without the doom and gloom. Tbh, I get why the more depressing aspects to our culture can feel unhealthy, possibly outdated. But the thought of losing that piece may ultimately dilute one of the most important elements to Judaism; the sheer miracle of our survival. How can we stay rooted in tradition if we remove the customs of misery? How do we have a Passover Seder that doesn’t include the actual drinking of pretend tears? It’s so incredibly grim yet it’s always been a necessary part of our story. If our ancestors had given this up generations ago, would we still be upholding these traditions and customs today? It comes to a point where we need to ask how crucial the misery factor is on our lives. Why do we rely on it so much to preserve our heritage? Who would we be without it? What would we talk about if this piece is removed? Can the joy of the holidays, as well as our culture at large, be maintained without the omnipresent Debbie Downer? Essentially, can we remember without letting the painful memories be the focus?
A wider point of inquiry for me is what the obsession with never forgetting does to the health and well being of the individual, the family, the community, and the culture. If I have been encoded to hold massive grudges and fear/hate certain people, then I’m obviously doing the same to my own children. Justified or not, it’s not a healthy thing. I completely understand and respect the fact that never forgetting the doom and gloom, pain, trauma, and danger towards Jews is a deeply necessary protective mechanism. We have a massively traumatic history. Any move to remember and know exactly who did this to us is a form of self defense. We are hyper vigilant because we have had to be. However, I also can’t ignore the fact that we are unconsciously choosing over and over to reactivate our collective trauma with the nonstop reminders of how everyone hates us and is out to get us. It’s like we aren’t giving ourselves a chance to know what it’s like to not be weighed down with the pain of all that.
I don’t know the answer, and frankly the thought of cutting out these painful parts to our culture scare me a bit. If we give up certain practices then what else will be carved away? This is the problem; when the notion of putting down pain feels unsettling. That alone speaks to the unhealthy relationship most Jews have with our own trauma. We seem to need it. As individuals, our addiction to our problems is a fascinating thing to investigate. How do we ever come up for air if there is a refusal to separate ourselves from life’s hardships? It’s one thing to be caught. Humans will always get caught, stuck, and hooked on suffering. It’s another thing to allow the hooks to never leave. It’s an unconscious decision to invite our trauma and suffering to move in rent free, forever. We pay it, not the other way around. The more our nervous systems become flooded with trauma, the harder it is to free ourselves. I call it the Misery Muscle. It gets stronger each time it’s flexed. We are constantly flexing and building up this muscle, and we most likely are totally unaware we’re doing it.
I don’t think the answer is to eliminate the Misery Muscle in Jewish culture. Remember, muscles aren’t optional. They’re a built in part of the body. What we can do, perhaps, is not work it out so much. We can weaken it by giving it less attention, and focus more on the healthier, more joyful parts to our heritage (there are many!). As a mother, I’m deeply uncomfortable ingraining any form of permanent misery into my children. Suffering is poisonous if it’s not dealt with. It’s a pervasive part of life. To live is to experience great suffering. But how to hold and acknowledge suffering and all its feels without getting swept away in it? This is one of the chief reasons I love Buddhist psychology so much; it teaches exactly this. It gives me the tools to deal with any kind of pain. If Jews believe in Tikun Olam (repairing the world), one of our religion’s most beautiful tenets, then how do we do that from under a thickly knotted net of suffering. When does never forgetting become a roadblock in moving forward in a way in which we can be our most actualized selves? Self actualized living includes a commitment to emotional liberation. Liberation means making new choices and moving in new directions; this comes from an inner place of wisdom and guidance. If the vow to cling to suffering prevents charting new paths, then this blocks said guidance. It suffocates our power of choice. One of our greatest human gifts is the ability to choose how we want to be in any given moment. We are always being asked to decide which seeds to plant. Seeds can be helpful, harmful, or most commonly a mix of both. One seed can produce a whole system of growth. I try to remember this as I refuse to take part in planting more forests of misery, in a world that’s already overgrown with that. That’s not what I wish to offer myself, my kids, my community, or my greater world.

Listen to Form Of Intellect- Gang Starr

listen to Form Of Intellect by Gang Starr

James Baraz: Letting Go of Knowing: Loving The Mystery

I'm listening to "Letting Go of Knowing: Loving The Mystery:" by James Baraz
https://www.dharmaseed.org/teacher/86/talk/67545/

This is hands down one of the best talks I’ve ever heard, in both content and delivery. I had planned on another post today and will save that for next week. I heard this talk and was too moved by it not to immediately share. This dose of wisdom comes at a time where I’m working really hard of letting go of certain specific things. What was so helpful and inspiring here was the notion that letting go doesn’t have to feel like torture. I have been approaching it from a deep place of trust, wholly believing in the task at hand for all the reasons. And it’s hard. It’s meant to be hard. Which is why I figured that all the tough, crunchy discomfort that comes attached to surrender was par for the course. I know that pain has great purpose and that the greatest transformations often come after periods of intense emotional hardship. Pain, it seems, is an important and necessary part of the equation of change. Rewiring our neural pathways and habits ain’t for the weak and lazy.
The gist of this wonderful lecture (which I heard on the Dharma Seed app) is that we can adopt an attitude of not knowing from a place of wonder and wide eyed curiosity. It can actually feel good! When we can truly surrender and not feel like we are prying our stories off our hearts, but rather bring a mood of child like surprise to what’s next, then the task of letting go becomes a lovely and sweet endeavor. Yes, the firm, gritty decision to pivot no matter what is also a crucial piece to letting go. However I really responded to the possibility of this process feeling loving, soft, beautiful, and special; like, “hey, Universe, I’m so excited to not know because now I’m allowing myself to be surprised”. That sort of thing, where we partner to create an opening for the light to enter. I actually communicate this to Source all the time. Show me what miracles you have for me today. But I admit I often say that with more than a tinge of sad resignation. “Ugh, fine” vibes.
Two of the most important words in zen or other types of Buddhist practice are “not knowing” or “don’t know”. The greatest masters said this nonstop, and it’s considered unmatched wisdom. A fresh beginners’ mind is much easier said than done, but it’s one of the keys to a well lived life. We can plan and plan and still have no idea what’s to come. We can assume there’s control in knowledge of ourselves, our lives, and the lives of others and yet feel shocked when, guess what, we aren’t omniscient. The illusion of control is of course a great attempt in avoiding fear of not knowing, which essentially makes presence impossible in that we become obsessed with the future. Refusing to be open to the unknown mysteries and miracles that lie ahead is probably one of the quickest ways to kill our spirit. We need to remember that child like curiosity in life’s surprises, and how it physically and emotionally feels to open up a wrapped gift that was selected just for us. It’s like by tapping into the surprises that Source has picked out for us, we can enjoy the process of surrendering. We trust that magic is around the corner, which actually makes Now magical as well. Almost like boarding a flight to a magnificent destination; it’s exciting to take the ride to this incredible place. It doesn’t have to be a dreadful process. Surrender can be amazing, and vibrationally tapping into the joy of what’s to come will bring said unknown miracles forward even quicker. Perhaps. All shall be revealed in time. When and how, we don’t know.
“Let go and let’s go!”

Love On Top

What I love about this look is that it’s made of completely unrelated styles and designers that came together in a cohesive statement. I have had this Marc Jacob’s jacket for at least 20 years. It’s part of a suit, and I haven’t worn it since my oldest was in nursery school (translation: a very long time ago). The shades are Prada from a trip to Vegas (it’s gross there btw) a decade ago, the jumpsuit is Norma Kamali, and the wrap around choker is from the boutique Five Story. I was going for Chanel vibes with the pastel boucle’ short jacket and pearl detail on my neck, proof that we can pay homage to certain styles without breaking the bank, which in my opinion is a totally outdated concept.

There is something magical about a New York City rooftop. It never gets old. The skyline never fails to move me, especially the view of the Freedom Tower. Strength, grace, determination, and resilience; ah, to embody these qualities. There is such joy in rising back up to the top, even in our quietest, most private moments. Feeling on top of the world, when we can touch such genuine elation after having climbed some, is always cause for true celebration.