Atypical Gratitude List

Gratitude talk is understandably ubiquitous around holiday time. It’s “on brand” because it’s real. The holidays are the perfect time to take a breath, have a good look at what’s right in front of us, and ditch the kvetching for some likely overdue appreciation. Themes like family, friends, health, warmth etc are so important and shouldn’t be taken for granted. It’s easy, when in grateful mode, to point to the obvious things we should feel gratitude towards. This isn’t that type of list, and I suspect you’ve seen enough of those to last you till next Thanksgiving.

Lately I’ve been reflecting on the less obvious things in my life that I’m grateful for, things that are specific to me. I often write about how crucial it is to appreciate and celebrate ourselves. Noticing my own details deepens my overall appreciation for myself. Having grown up in a hyper critical family of origin, appreciating the many dimensions and details of my life feel like a homecoming of sorts. It’s just as important to acknowledge and compliment myself as it is to be genuine and generous in that way towards others. I have many close friends who have at least one dead parent. Only one of them seems to keep her mother alive because she was so aware of her mother’s many details. I barely know anything about my other friends’ deceased parents, but I feel I know this other mother so well since her daughter celebrates her details to this day, decades later. Who will know and honor our details if we don’t? Working in a senior community as a Zen Buddhist chaplain has me often thinking about how entire lives full of details pass us by. The seniors have so much to say, so much to recount. They’ve had long lives full of stories and stuff. Loves, hobbies, passions, losses. It’s clear which of them feel known in their details and which of them feel unimportant and unacknowledged. If we teach people how to treat us, as the saying goes, how can we expect others to notice our stuff if we fail to? Amongst deeply grooved social conditioning that falsely honors putting oneself last to acquire martyrdom points, lest anyone be seen as selfish, it’s an essential and loving practice to pay attention to ourselves and be aware of all the terrific pieces in the puzzle that makes each of us up. Here are some of the things I’m grateful for about myself. I hope this inspires you to think about what you love and appreciate about yourselves. No detail is too small or too weird; they’re what make you You.

Things I’m Grateful For:

I read color very well. Everyone sees color differently, and I’m good at picking up underlying color tones. This helps with decor, making outfits, anything aesthetic.

I cry easily because I’m deeply sensitive. I can cry at the same thing a million times, and I love how deeply feeling I am. It means my heart is open, raw, and exposed.

I can dance and will do so in private (naked in my closet or bathroom) or public ( the supermarket, anywhere).

My sense of humor

My effortless fashion sense

My love of deepening my spirituality

My ability to pick up on the smallest nuance or energy shift. I can read a room. I’m energetically perceptive.

I take meticulous care of my skin

I’m consistent in exercise and yoga. I love being attuned to my body.

I am a master at symbolism and can find meaning almost anywhere

I’m a great gift giver

My hospitality. I love welcoming people into my home and ensuring they’re comfortable.

My confidence

I can talk to a wall

I sometimes still suck my thumb in private and I think it’s sweet that I’ll reach for a childhood comfort.

My cooking and baking skills

My love of reading

My interest and curiosity in the world

How I set a beautiful table for special occasions

I rhyme well

I’m an etymology nerd. I love deconstructing words.

How I arrange the lights every day before my kids come home from school so they walk into a warm environment after a long, cold day.

My creative vision that spans many lanes

My pursuit of my many passions

My work ethic

My growing more comfortable with technology. I was historically petrified of it.

My bedtime care rituals: lavender oil, lemon balm and lavender capsules, lotions, not closing the drapes until right before I go to sleep so I can stare out onto the sky.

I’m a ninja at selecting and arranging tchotchkes

How much I enjoy the supermarket or any kind of market. Freshness! Possibility! Abundance! Color!

I’m an efficient, decisive shopper

I’m a chameleon in many ways while always staying myself

The care and attention I put into menu making

The piles of blankets I intentionally keep in common rooms so that the message is sent to please make yourself at home

I’m fully comfortable dining, traveling, and seeing movies alone

My connection to nature

How I always choose the right flowers

My ability to write a beautiful, heartfelt note to someone

My non complacent approach to life. Rest, yes. Plateau, no. There’s always more growing and shedding to do. No arrival.

My embracing of a Buddhist path alongside my Judaism. They exist together in equal importance, two rivers flowing alongside each other that meet in the same body of water.

My faith in God and a higher power

I throw kick ass parties

I’m a great hang

Not feeling like a douche for writing this list

Since we are ever evolving this is a working list. Writing this out was a fun, poignant activity for all the aforementioned reasons. Have fun with not only getting to know yourself, but in naming all of the nuts and bolts that make your life special. Be grateful for wanting to see yourself in the bright light of loving appreciation. That kind of illuminating attention we give ourselves cannot ever be outsourced. It’s never too late to begin. To love is to really, really notice.