Timing

I love this quote by Yung Pueblo, who is a brilliant writer and meditator. He has keen, accurate insights into humanity, psychology, and trauma conditioning. There is even something about the font he uses on social media that I find soothing and welcoming. I bought a ticket to hear him speak at NYU for the end of March prior to COVID.

 It irritates me when people say “time heals everything”. With all the information available to us on how to heal ourselves and the essential steps required to do so, it feels like a lazy, outdated notion. I’m sure we all know people who have been harping on the same topics for years, even decades. The same destructive and unhappy patterns repeating in slightly different circumstances. Conversations and complaints that don’t seem to change, grievances that don’t improve. Wounds that never heal, brokenness that doesn’t somehow fuse us back together. We can’t expect time to do any of that for us. Time is neutral. It is a gift in the form of space and length in which we can make choices. The pivot is in our hands, and time is the stage on which we can choreograph new steps. Certainly things happen over time that we didn’t realize were set into motion, either by us or by Source. For instance, you slept late the morning of 9/11 and didn’t take the train to work that you never miss. Or you met the love of your life completely unexpectedly. There are things backstage that the spiritual set designers are planning for us all the time. But it’s a partnership. The most brilliant script can be written for us, but if we don’t commit to memorizing the lines then it’s useless. Time doesn’t heal; we do, by deciding that we want different/fresher/ better/ healthier and moving towards that. Pace is individual, and even those of us with fiery pitta tendencies will be taught to take it slowly. Healing is a long process. It isn’t time that will do it for you, but it is indeed time that is your friend on this journey. Time allows us to kindly be patient and gentle with ourselves while we learn to walk again. It mostly likely took decades for you to get to where you are; unlearning and de programming your mind, body, and heart will take precious time. Each time I feel I’ve reached a new trail marker on my path, I uncover a new space that needs exploration and attention. The layers keep revealing themselves. Like most things, time just is. It’s entirely up to us how we use it. I know there is so much talk of this in regard to our current state. This pandemic has given most of us more time than we know how to handle. There seems to be pressure in using time wisely; to self care, to connect with loved ones, to enjoy simplicity, to learn ourselves, to create, to clean out closets, to be productive, etc. We all have our lists of things we have been “wanting to get to if only there was time”. What’s interesting is that we have always confused our lack of time with a lack of motivation. There’s either too much time or too little. It’s somehow “time’s” fault if we don’t accomplish stuff. There’s a lesson in that too. That perhaps what we thought we wanted to do turned out to not matter all that much. These realizations are crucial in the continuous editing process. How we want to spend our time and with whom are incredibly important self discoveries. Despite the horror and tragedy of this virus, those of us that have been fortunate to remain healthy and safe have indeed been given the great gift of increased time. It’s a wonderful chance to go inward in every sense. If that terrifies you then perhaps start exploring why. If losing our former distractions and intoxicants make us feel adrift and lost, get curious in a gently yet starkly honest way. Use this time to be curious about yourselves, what makes you tick and why, what you may be looking away from out of fear and discomfort. Time doesn’t clean anything up for you, that’s not it’s purpose. But we can align ourselves with this new reality of added time. We can meet it and use it well. No one needs to know about your process, it’s private. You never need to explain or justify the journey of self exploration. Anyone who won’t support that or understand might begin to drop away. That’s not time removing them; it’s time helping you steer yourself in a new direction of your design. In our deepest, darkest places we hold so much stuff that needs unpacking. There is often a lot of shame in facing this dirty clutter. Shame is a tough one, and has usually been ingrained since we were very young. Just as no one can clean out your closet for you (you need to decide what to keep and toss), no outside source can do your inner healing. Time can’t do it either. Time is here to assist and support. Let’s use this time to come out of this improved, lighter, more peaceful, more joyous. We have time to unpack, to put down these heavy loads that have slowed us down over the years. The entire world will hopefully be forever changed post COVID19. The portal has been created; if and how we walk through it is our decision. We are clearly being taught to live with less, on the deepest of levels. There is profound emotional freedom that comes with that lesson. Let’s no longer rely on time, or blame it. Let’s love it for cradling us while we use it wisely and well. Time is always here for you. Will you be here for you?