Sacre’ Couer

I was really struck by this Maya Angelou quote on courage. It was definitely an “aha” moment. I started to think about the word itself since I love etymology. I rightly assumed that courage stems from the Latin word “cor” meaning heart. Since I took French in high school I know that “couer” means heart, so French was the first association that popped into my head.

Next I contemplated how bravery only really exists from the innermost heart space. Courage, by nature, cannot be a superficial quality. Then it’s just false bravado which is laughably collapsible. Courage and love are so closely connected because they burst forth from a shared place deep within. It takes courage to love since true love requires really stripping away all your layers in order to connect with both yourself and another on the deepest level. If you can’t be brave enough to locate your own heart center then you can forget about someone else locating it. So too will you not be able to fully love someone else. Weed whacking our way through vast, thorny forests of shame, fear, delusion, shitty programming, and false belief systems indeed requires bravery and determination. It feels easier to just carry on in the ways we think we know, even if they don’t feel very good. To journey inward towards the core, the couer, takes courage. Aren’t words just fascinating?? The interconnectedness of letters and meanings, damn.

When I met my first life changing yoga teacher Stephanie, I was naturally giving her some background. I told her I was the first to get married, the first to have a baby, and the first to get divorced. I was just rattling facts that I’d always kind of associated with being an overachiever. She immediately came at me with, “well you’re a very courageous and brave person which is why you just go for it”. I had never once thought of my trajectory this way. Like never. She said this to me at our first meeting. Steph does not say things she doesn’t mean, which I realized quickly. It was the first seed planted that perhaps I should give myself more credit. Maybe the choices I’d made weren’t externally expected of me but had come from an internal place of courage. Over time, as I’ve plunged myself deep into svadhyaya/ self study, I have slowly allowed myself to see what she saw. This is evidenced by how many changes I have made over the past several years. True change comes from fierce dedication, determination, discipline, and consistency. This doesn’t mean we don’t falter and take some steps back, but the overall vision is clear. We fall then get back up again and again. This quote told me quite a bit about myself; that I must have courage since I am so consistent in many ways. Courage is like the ground floor on which all other factors of action rests. I have done a lot the past three years, and if Maya and Steph believe that’s because I’m courageous then I shall believe them. Knowing this has opened the gateway towards even more courage. Like love, bravery has endless room to expand. The heart space is just wondrous that way. At this very moment I feel both empowered yet daunted. I have so much further to go that it does seem scary. Can I really get there? Can I really do what I know I need to? Courage is not being sure; it’s being scared yet going forth anyway. And that is something I know I’m good at.