Fresh Herb Rub
/Choose your protein! This fresh, excellent, mixed herb rub is such a pleasure to make. Using a variety of herbs from my garden, this summer rub elevates fish, chicken, or meat. It’s also a great spread for any kind of sandwich. I love it on toasted bread with grilled vegetables. The salmon seen here that I made for a dinner party was such a hit. You can’t beat the flavor of real deal garden to table. Use any combo of fresh herbs available to you. Play around with amounts after the first round in the food processor, adjust quantities as needed. It’s hard to go wrong here.
Ingredients:
1/2 cup packed fresh sage leaves
3 tbsp fresh oregano leaves
1/4 cup fresh lemon thyme leaves, pulled downwards off stem (same technique for oregano)
1 1/2 cups packed basil leaves
4 sundried tomatoes
3 tbsp fresh lemon juice
3 cloves fresh peeled garlic
4 tbsp olive oil
1/2 tsp salt, 1/4 tsp pepper
Lightly season your choice of protein with salt and pepper (not the amount from the recipe, that’s going in the mix). Set aside. Add all ingredients to a food processor and pulse enough times to make a paste that still has some texture. Adjust seasonings, lemon juice, and oil if necessary. Rub on well. Marinate for at least 1/2 hour. Grill, bake, or broil. I roasted this salmon on 400 for 18 minutes.
Ha Tikvah
/Ha Tikvah, which means The Hope, is the Israeli national anthem. My second daughter loved when I sang this to her when she was a toddler. I loved singing to my kids and each night they’d each choose three songs to hear. This child always made Ha Tikvah one of her choices. Today that kid is almost 19, and we put her on a plane to spend a gap year in Israel. Since this is a common move post high school in the orthodox community, I have concluded that we parents often don’t process the enormity of it, by virtue of the fact we are so used to it. It’s major though. Sending a teenager across the world to a Middle Eastern country that is constantly under the very real threat of attack, would understandably seem completely insane and irresponsible. A friend and I have been discussing this the past few weeks, a friend whose daughter is also going, and we decided that it’s crazy how normalized this decision is. Are we in denial as parents? Are we choosing the expected, rote move over logic and rationale? Have we reached herd level stupidity in shipping our children off to Israel? Who the heck cares if almost everyone else is doing it?? I am not a conformist in any other area of my life so these questions were both curious and uncomfortable. I love Israel deeply. I actually spent a gap year there myself. I obviously am approaching this idea differently as a parent than when I was 18, but circumstances were certainly safer when I went. Granted, now there is texting and FaceTime. I am not a helicopter parent at all, but I’m hyper vigilant about safety and caution. I know all this letting go is part of the parenting deal, but giving my daughter a lecture about never taking a bus out due to the ever present threat of suicide bombers is objectively fucked up. I am at peace with having conflicting emotions in life, which means I welcome feelings of anxiety, sadness, and excitement that surround this experience for me as a mother in this situation. Along with that comes hope. Hope she will be safe, hope I can visit her in times of a third covid wave, hope there won’t be forced lockdown, hope she won’t spend weeks in bomb shelters like her friends did last year, hope she will be happy there, and hope that my beautiful Israel will be safe and at peace. Ha Tikvah is a truly loaded title for a song. Israel’s very existence is constantly under fire, as we have seen with the disgusting storm of anti Semitism that has gone on for many months. I will never defend or debate Jewish ties to our own homeland, that’s not what this post is about. That’s like me debating why the French should be able to live in France, or me contemplating whether or not I’m pro Italy. Over it. However, “hope” in regards to Zion, Israel, the Land of Milk and Honey means many things. For the granddaughter of Holocaust survivors, it means hope of the continuity of the Jewish people which is absolutely sustained, nurtured, and nourished by the land of Israel. As vulnerable as Jews are worldwide, since we are hunted for sport, we would be toast without Israel. It is our safety, our sanctuary, our home base. Jews have been fully ethnically cleansed from countless countries. Completely. Israel accepts and welcomes Jewish refugees from all over the globe. There is no more such a thing as the lost tribes since all Jews are found in the holy land. And sadly, America, the land of the free and home of the brave, has not been a friendly place for Jews recently. This week a 19 year old yeshivah student was mercilessly gunned down in Denver in an act of hateful anti Semitism. Which basically blows up the safety argument. Anti Semitism has been continuously vicious both here and worldwide, making Israel probably and ironically the safest place for Jews. Is it strange that I won’t let my kids take ubers here yet will ship them off to Israel alone? Yes. Is it bizarre that American parents pack up our youth for a year in a place where rocket fire is normal and buildings aren’t up to code unless they contain a bomb shelter? No question. So why do we do it then? More so, why am I doing it? The answer can seem unsatisfactory in its simplicity. Because as Jews it is just what we do. It’s as if we block out the long list of why nots in favor of the one why; it’s our homeland and we fucking love it. I can’t think of another country where parents who are active citizens elsewhere, have children who selflessly and courageously volunteer to serve in an army in a country where they don’t live. Jews from all over the world literally put their lives on the line to join the IDF. The Israeli army is no joke. You may very well not come home. It is clear that our instinct to protect and serve this land defies logic, which true love is meant to do. As I looked around the airport at Jews from all types of backgrounds, calmly lining up at security as if on line for a Disney ride, I was genuinely comforted, at least in the moment. I was comforted by that Jewish resolve to do what we do no matter what the rest of the world says or thinks. We have ALWAYS beat to our own drum, and it’s this very quality of non conformity that the rest of the world seems so threatened by. Solidarity trumps popularity, at least for the Yiddin who are proud of who we are. My Buddhist practice teaches no separation. I admit I am most at peace in my life, body, mind, and heart when I open myself up to this practice. It genuinely feels good on all levels. But I was placed in a Jewish body for which I’m extremely grateful. I have been conditioned to define humans as Jews or non Jews. This is complete separation, and I don’t know yet how to marry both ideologies. Maybe I never will. Sometimes this division bothers me since separation is wrong and feels like shit to me, and sometimes I’m really proud to be in the exclusive Jewish club. I have sadly concluded that the world indeed also defines us in those terms; Jews and non Jews. How do I, a Jew, escape a concrete label that is coming at me from both sides? My desire to just be known as a human being is strong, and that has nothing to do with not maintaining my intrinsically deep connection to a culture, history, language, and traditions that I love. As is evidenced by the extreme reactivity to Jews throughout history, as well as currently, the whole freaking world is fiercely determined to keep Jews in our own category, so that it can keep throwing darts at us. And you know what? Fuck it. I’m still going to get on that hellish line at JFK airport and board an El Al flight to Israel because it is my birthright, my privilege, and my responsibility. And it’s my job as a Jewish mother to impart the same ideas to my kids. Jews must stick together. We don’t have a choice. Those who think they do will change their tune very quickly when another genocidal madman usurps power. Torquemada, Hitler, and the Taliban ain’t handing out street cred points to self hating Jews. Let’s see how fast these anti Zionist progressives clamor to buy condos in Herzeliya when there’s a pogrom in LA or Brooklyn. And guess what? Israel will turn not one of them away, despite how many times they have turned their backs to her. Because Israel is the motherland and mothers, good ones, welcome their children unconditionally and without judgement. Mothers can’t always explain our actions. And when said actions come from a place of wholeness and purity, we no longer feel we have to.
Jewish Baptism
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Ain’t no other way to say it:) Who doesn’t love a dreamy, all white ensemble in the summer? And who doesn’t love swimming in their clothes? This outfit did not come together but it works so well. I love making completely separate pieces blend seamlessly. A long white skirt is the epitome of “summer pretty”. The detailed off the shoulder top as well. The little shell in my hair was just the tiniest addition to make this vibe head to toe. This look can absolutely flatter all body types, perhaps my favorite thing about it. Showing shoulders is almost always a good idea. Big points for versatility here. I have worn this both day and night, and to both more casual and dressier settings. It’s a home run on vacation, making it the perfect sexy&pretty golden hour, pre dinner outfit. Both pieces have so many uses which adds to their vacation value. The barrette is from CVS. Pharmacies and supermarkets are great places to find cheap accessories, usually in the cosmetics isle.
In God’s Name
/I recently returned from a family trip to Barcelona. It was my first time in Spain and certainly the first big trip taken during this pandemic. It was truly a blessing to be able to explore a new place with my daughters. The architecture alone is reason enough to go. Huge, stately old homes and castles which are now mostly apartment buildings, and of course the genius work of Gaudi. I was very much looking forward to touring the Jewish quarter. Spain has a rich Jewish history that dates back centuries. The oldest synagogue in all of Europe is in the Jewish quarter of Barcelona, and that’s saying a lot. We also saw the site of one of the oldest ritual baths (a Mikvah) which is now in the back of a store. The owners were nice in letting us come see it, but it’s mostly covered by merchandise being stored. I love both history and Judaism so I was very moved learning about some of the ancient Jewish sages that stood in those very streets. Ramban, Abarbanel, and Rashba to name a few. The Jewish and gothic quarters neighbor each other. I had known a bit about the Spanish Inquisition, which was essentially the Holocaust of that time and region, but since it was hundreds of years ago I never felt deeply connected to it. This is my fear with the Holocaust itself; that generations to come won’t be emotionally tied to this brutal and important period in history that has all but defined 20th century Judaism. That’s obviously a natural progression over which we have no control. As survivors die out and time simply moves us further away from these major events in history, it’s almost impossible for future generations to deeply internalize the weight and complexity of any such event, no matter how massive. During the Inquisition, there were numerous punishments and methods of torture doled out that almost make mass shootings and gas chambers seem like no big deal. I don’t say that lightly. This went on in Spain, after originating in Italy, for centuries. The most disturbing piece is that all of this brutality, torture, and murder was done entirely in the name of God. It was mandated and carried out by the church. Anyone practicing a different religion was considered a threat to the church, so Jews, among others who disagreed with this for whatever reason, were basically given the choice to convert or be killed. Neighbors ratted out Jews to save their own families, some rabbis were forced to give over all the names of their hidden congregants, and it was a murderous and terrifying bloodbath that lasted for generations. I’d never go to Warsaw or Berlin on vacation for all the obvious reasons a granddaughter of survivors wouldn’t go, yet I was having a grand old time, as well as spending Shabbat, in a city that absolutely tortured and destroyed it’s Jews. As I said to a friend, from a Jewish perspective Barcelona is Krakow but with better packaging. It was a very heavy thing to hold; what Jews worldwide and throughout history have gone through just to stay alive. Just to breathe, live, love, procreate, pray, work, laugh, dance, eat. Normal things that humans do. It’s just been so much harder for us than what it should be. It made me incredibly sad, and given the recent global anti Semitic climate, none of us are out of the woods. We have almost always had the looming threat of death being lorded over us. Why can’t we just be left alone? Why is our very existence just such a problem and a threat? We learned about how after certain rabbis were forced to convert to Christianity and take positions in the church to prove their loyalty, they’d carve stars of David into the stained glass windows, as a secret code to let fellow Jews know they were there. The church ordered all Jewish tax records and accounting books to be burned in order to erase the history, so rabbis took apart the tax records page by page and hid the pages strategically in non Jewish records. This later allowed historians to piece together all the individual Jewish pages, thereby giving back a sense of certain aspects of Jewish life and history in Barcelona. The lengths we’ve had to go through just for basic self preservation is devastating. The need people have to hurt others is also devastating, as is using God as an excuse to do so. Whether it’s anti Semitism, racism, homophobia, or any other form of separation and elitism, using God as the justification is pathetic, cowardly, and a disrespectful distortion. The God I believe in doesn’t want any of us to hurt anyone else. He doesn’t believe in sexual conversion therapy, aryan superiority, or that people should be bludgeoned to death for picking up one prayer book vs another. My God thinks the Crusades were disgraceful, and I imagine Him weeping every time a human invokes His name to harm or torture another of His children. To pin a defective human need for blood on God is the craziest means of passing oneself off as righteous. Believing in God, as I see it, is a way to a kinder, more meaningful life when said belief is used in a healthy and loving way. Even in religions where there are sects and varying denominations warring against differences and nonsense (don’t get me started on how this plays out in Judaism. Really? It matters how big the brim of a black hat is or where the fish goes on the dinner table? REALLY??) this is shameful. I just think it’s really selfish for human beings to judge, command, decide, divide, and condemn “in the name of God”. If we are going to act in shitty ways, at least let’s not blame anyone else. To “atone” is to be “at one” with our behavior. It’s to take clear accountability of our actions. Atonement is bullshit if we blame anything or anyone else for our choices, and it’s also impossible to change for the better without stark admittance of our own roles and decisions. The image of the bloodthirsty priest during the Inquisition taking all sorts of confessions and then issuing a decree to pry Jewish bodies apart with steel traps, putting anyone accused of treason on the Swedish rack (even children), and cutting off the heads of innocents in the town square as entertainment, was truly sickening. I will go to my grave as saying that though I don’t have a direct phone line upstairs, I am certain this isn’t what God has ever wanted. I’m talking to you, KKK extremists. The tears God must’ve cried throughout the history of mankind over misuse of His name, as well as our human gifts and potential, can create new oceans. I imagine Him saying, “this is not at all what I intended. Not at all”. Any of us claiming to believe in God, whichever one it is, have a responsibility to represent Him properly, kindly, and well. If not then we are all frauds and we can only blame ourselves. You can’t blame whom you claim to love.
Deep Purple
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This summer I found myself drawn towards luscious, girly, softer styles. Wearing a two piece monochrome ensemble makes for instant ease and yummy vibes. There’s no guesswork in an outfit like this (it’s from Revolve and it popped up on Instagram); very little accessories are needed since the color and amount of fabric pretty much do the talking. I took this on my recent trip to Barcelona with my daughters. After a long day of touring it was nice to slip this on and go out to dinner feeling put together. I wore no makeup on vacation, and I tied my messy hair up in a cute top knotted scarf. I was dressed in less than ten minutes. The rich eggplant color, along with the flow and cut of the two pieces, created an instant outfit that was so worth packing. Bonus points for both the top and bottom being separately reusable throughout the trip!
GF Banana Blueberry Muffins
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These super yummy treats have no white sugar, no white flour, and are made in one bowl. They make a great breakfast, snack, or dessert. It’s always so nice to find uses for overripe bananas. Plump, juicy blueberries make these muffins extra. Love giving these healthy versions of classics to my kids! They freeze beautifully. This recipe makes 14 muffins.
Ingredients:
2 cups almond flour
1/3 cup coconut or oat flour
2 eggs
1/4 cup agave or honey
1/4 cup coconut sugar
1/3 cup milk of choice, I used almond
1/4 cup melted coconut oil
1 1/2 to 2 cups fresh blueberries tossed with a tbsp of coconut or oat flour to prevent sinking
2 ripe bananas mashed
1 1/2 tsp vanilla
1 tsp baking soda
1 tsp cinnamon
Oven 350. Line muffins tins with liners and spray liners for easy removal later on. I use a coconut oil spray. Put all ingredients in a large bowl, combine well but don’t over mix. Mixing too much results in density (symbolism!). Bake for 25 minutes. Tops of muffins should be slightly golden brown, and not mushy. Soft is ok since they will firm up as they cool, but too soft means they need another minute or two.
Grilled Herbed Honey Mustard Chicken
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This was my all time favorite chicken when I used to eat poultry. My teenage son agreed to try this before camp (thanks) and went nuts for it. Mom win! The combo of fresh herbs and honey mustard (hack, it’s a bottled dressing) is layered and robust. The trick here is the two step cooking process. First I season the chicken, cover it, and bake it to 3/4 doneness. Then I let it cool a bit, spread the dressing on it, top it with loads of fresh herbs from my garden, and grill or broil it to completion right before serving. I love this method since it’s mostly cooked before your guests arrive. The chicken can marinate for however long you need it to while you prep the rest of your meal. Simply broil or grill for a few minutes for that perfectly charred flavor. No one ever has to know this wasn’t entirely cooked on the grill. This very easily doubles or triples for a crowd. The leftovers are delicious room temperature, and would make an excellent chicken salad.
You’ll need:
One chicken cut into 8ths with skin
Bottled honey mustard dressing
Salt, pepper, garlic powder, paprika, cumin
A tightly packed cup of at least two of your favorites kinds of chopped, fresh herbs. I like to use a mix of tarragon, sage, lemon or regular thyme, parsley, or dill.
Oven on 350. Season the chicken with all the spices, drizzle with olive oil, and rub the chicken all over to distribute the seasonings. Cover tightly and bake for an hour. If you’re in a rush you can do 45 minutes on 400.
Uncover and let cool for 20 minutes. Spread some honey mustard dressing on each piece using the back of a spoon. Sprinkle the herbs on top and press those into the sauce with the back of the spoon as well. Drizzle with another hit of olive oil. Let marinate for at least 20 minutes, up to an hour. Grill on both sides or broil skin side up before serving. The skin should be light/medium charred for that fantastic bbq look and taste, with the colors of the sauce and herbs still present. Taste and texture makes this a standout.
Spanish Flew
/Very tickled by my cleverness with this title. I plan on overusing it all week on Instagram. It’s a nod to flying to Spain with a mask during an insane global pandemic, which is compared historically to the Spanish Flu.
I can definitely cop to having covid travel anxiety, in addition to standard travel anxiety. I am rusty at travel right now! Spain is currently not on the list of international red zones, covid wise. I have never been nor have my girls, so we are all psyched to go to a new place. Anything tech related out the gate makes me low grade nervous, so the task of having to fill out various forms online, get codes blah blah blah floods my nerves. Covid travel paperwork is nuts. Can anyone tell me the difference between uploading and downloading?? I’m genuinely curious. Our Air BNB looks fabulous, located right off La Rambla. I have had experiences with Air BNB where the place looks just like the photos, as well as times where the pics were def misleading. I really do prefer to travel this way regardless, since it forces me out of some hotel lobby and into a supermarket (I love grocery shopping on vacay), and to create a trip that feels much more authentic and interesting. I love putting together an itinerary that gives us a feel for where we actually are. I have had great experiences with Air BNB local activities. This gets us around to various spots while meeting locals who offer less commercial ideas at good prices. I learned years ago that any kind of sterile trip is not for me. I like to get gritty, dirty, and see things off the beaten path. Sometimes tourist stuff is naturally included. However, without a concierge holding my hand (a good thing since it puts me in Big Girl mode), I can sometimes feel overwhelmed as the only adult present. This is all a good practice in presence, breathing, gratitude, and adaptability. I am beyond grateful at being able to take this trip with my two college age daughters and their amazing friend. It’s such a gift to experience these kinds of things with my kids. There’s no one I’d rather explore the world with. Going anywhere in the midst of this pandemic, again on the rise, is such a blessing. Jeez, walking out our front door was a blessing during covid!
Here are some of the activities I’ve planned. It’s a good mix of some more expected sights and fun, local stuff. Spain has a very rich Jewish history so we will be touring the Jewish quarter. The Gothic quarter and some famous Gaudi architecture as well. I found a terrific tour guide, Yan, off the website for the Barcelona Chabad. I found my driver, Moshe, from there too. For those unfamiliar with Chabad, it’s a wonderful sect of Judaism that sends emissaries all over the world. It’s a very special part of Jewish culture; you can travel all over the world and find a synagogue, kosher meals, resources, and friendly faces in almost any city. What a comfort. We plan on praying there on Friday night for Shabbat services. I love going to synagogues in other places, and I hope to meet the rabbi and his family. We wanted to join them for Shabbat dinner but the center is closed for meals in August due to covid. There is a built in trust factor with finding Jewish resources from any Chabad worldwide. I’ve thankfully found some hand holding in that regard. I love water activities, so I’m excited for kayaking and snorkeling in Costa Brava. I’m looking forward to going out of the city, especially for the drive there. One evening we have a sunset boat ride which lets us dive right into the sea off the boat. We are painting a mural with a graffiti artist in downtown Barcelona. We are only there a week, so I’d like for the rest of the time to be for enjoying walking around this amazing city, going to local markets, wandering side streets, and eating fabulous meals. I usually like to arrange for a local cooking class, but we are kosher and all the culinary offerings were for paella.
Once we arrive and get our bearings I’ll be more at ease, which is always the case with going anywhere completely new. Please let me know if you have any great Barcelona ideas! As the world looks as if it may be closing down again for a third covid wave, I’m really glad to be squeezing in this special time with my girls. Wish me luck!
GF Banana Blueberry Muffins
/These super yummy treats have no white sugar, no white flour, and are made in one bowl. They make a great breakfast, snack, or dessert. It’s always so nice to find uses for overripe bananas. Plump, juicy blueberries make these muffins extra. Love giving these healthy versions of classics to my kids! They freeze beautifully. This recipe makes 14 muffins.
Ingredients:
2 cups almond flour
1/3 cup coconut or oat flour
2 eggs
1/4 cup agave or honey
1/4 cup coconut sugar
1/3 cup milk of choice, I used almond
1/4 cup melted coconut oil
1 1/2 to 2 cups fresh blueberries tossed with a tbsp of coconut or oat flour to prevent sinking
2 ripe bananas mashed
1 1/2 tsp vanilla
1 tsp baking soda
1 tsp cinnamon
Oven 350. Line muffins tins with liners and spray liners for easy removal later on. I use a coconut oil spray. Put all ingredients in a large bowl, combine well but don’t over mix. Mixing too much results in density (symbolism!). Bake for 25 minutes. Tops of muffins should be slightly golden brown, and not mushy. Soft is ok since they will firm up as they cool, but too soft means they need another minute or two.
Striped Short Suiting
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Love this pastel, candy striped shorts suit. This cute number was another Century 21 purchase (sigh, so not over the loss of that store). This is a great look for a summer business lunch. It’s a perfect mix of daytime fun and formal. The heels literally elevate this look, and I wore these ancient neon Marc Jacobs pumps to add height and a serious color pop. The punch of the shoe is a nice finisher after so much skin, and legs are a naturally awesome way to give space and breath to the overall feel of an outfit. My statement shades in a neutral color work off the neutral tone underneath all the colored stripes. Turquoise bracelets to pick up the turquoise striping but not too matchy.
The flamingo and I just signed a major development deal together, so a celebratory lunch truly was in order!
Golden Beet Black Rice Salad
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Rich and hearty, golden beets, crisp arugula, elegant black wild rice, toasted walnuts, and golden raisins compose this beautiful salad. Easily a meal, this combo works well all year. The round shape of the beets make an impressive presentation as seen here in a ring, or in straight rows as I’ve done in previous beet salads. Add feta, goat cheese, or shaved Parmesan if you’re a cheesy peep. A great time saver is that I used a bottled honey garlic vinaigrette. I was in the pantry grabbing fresh dressing ingredients, when I saw this bottle and grabbed it. It totally worked, and was a change from my one trick pony dressing recipe. Using a bottled quality dressing or sauce does not mean we didn’t make this ourselves:).
Ingredients:
3 to 4 cups of sliced yellow beets, about 20 slices. You can also use cubed if that’s what’s available, just place them attractively in a composed pattern (should you so choose).
Four cups arugula
3/4 cup yellow raisins
A cup of halved, toasted walnuts
Black rice prepared to package directions. I like the Lundberg brand. You’ll need 2 cups cooked black rice.
Your favorite bottled vinaigrette. I like one that has a sweetness to it, to lighten the earthier components and soften the sharpness of the arugula.
Roast the beets in a single layer after rubbing with olive oil, in a 400 oven for 45 minutes. LIGHTLY salt them with just a sprinkle before placing in oven. They should ultimately be fork tender but not too soft, so they can retain their shape in the salad. Let cool slightly. While the beets are cooking, prepare the rice. Chop and toast the walnuts in a dry skillet, stirring and watching for any burning. I like to mix the arugula, rice, nuts, and raisins with some dressing in a large bowl, then transfer that to a platter and arrange the beet slices, drizzling some more dressing on top. Scatter extra raisins and nuts for garnish, add cheese if desired but aim to maintain the integrity of the presentation as far as placement. This is a beautiful Rosh Hashanah salad, but I’m going to pretend I’m not thinking about that right now.
Casual Date Night
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There’s something about light rinse denim that screams Summer. Curve hugging bell bottoms always seem to know what to do. I was feeling the 70’s vibe so I chose this breezy knotted scarf top for drinks out in the city. Wedges or platforms, some beads and bangles, a dangly earring, and a light necklace and this look was good to go.
Both the jeans and top are from Free People. Most of my new summer pieces came from there. FP has fantastic items to refresh your closet at great prices. Tip; for booty focused jeans, choose a top that hits at the waist (or a crop) so you can show off that cute little part. Tucking in will achieve that as well. Don’t waste your waist:).
Only thing left to do is enjoy that rooftop cocktail.
Stay Rooted
/We all have a list of people and situations that drive us crazy. So often we allow our own actions to be affected by the choices and actions of others. This immediately puts us in victim mode where the tendency to blame others and defend ourselves hits hard. We unconsciously act in ways we aren’t in alignment with, and a common reaction is to believe, “well, if only they hadn’t done X then I wouldn’t have done Y.” Accountability is hard, and admitting we are so at mercy of others’ decisions can feel pretty pathetic. Why, aside from the obvious? Because it’s very difficult to acknowledge how unrooted we can feel; it’s much easier to point fingers at others than to take a hard look at where we need to commit to our own steadiness. This is both simple and not. On the one hand, we are responsible for our own roots. On the other hand, humans are relational creatures with a wide range of feelings and sensitivities, and unless we are made of stone we are going to be affected by things outside of us. Be it other people, circumstances, even the weather or a song we hear, these all have the power to deeply sway us. Abuse of any kind is never ok, and while we are the gardeners of our own roots this never means remaining in diseased, unhealthy soil. I needed to put that disclaimer in since the tendency to think we have to eat manure is all too real, as is the habit of pretending that “ I’m fine, everything is fine”. The great thing about human relationships is that we do indeed get to water each other. We all need that reciprocity, while at the same time being wholly responsible for our own growth and inner nurturing. It’s a great balancing act.
So here’s what driving me right now to write this now. Any Jew who is proud to be one has been through the ringer over the past few months. It’s been so many things; sad, enraging, frustrating, betraying. Anyone I know with non Jewish friends has lost most, if not all, of them. Doors have been slammed in our faces in one way or another; either all of us isn’t welcome, or we are but our Judaism and Zionism are not. Um, no thanks. The gaslighting is out of control, and I, like many, genuinely feel that no one gives a shit. I have had too many experiences recently of trying to explain/defend myself to no avail. When people are determined to take a certain stance there is nothing you can do. I’m in a group situation that I’ve invested a lot of time, emotion, hope, energy, and money into. I have been devastated and shocked at the lack of support in this group, as well as carrying deep feelings of betrayal and disappointment that zero of them have said a single syllable condemning anti Semitism. How can I be friends with people who won’t go to bat for me? I’d certainly tell my children to stay away from friends who are only there for them conditionally. Aren’t the building blocks of any relationship trust, loyalty, and listening? I blew a gasket recently when asked about this, by one group member. This person understandably asked me why I still choose to remain here. It was a logical question, yet still kind of a surprise; after all, it’s well known how much I have invested of myself in this certain space. Why should I have to leave? The efforts I have put into this situation are extremely intentional. I stay in this space because it greatly benefits me on numerous levels, and I’m too smart to throw the baby out with the bath water. The conclusion I’ve reached is this; I am allowed to feel whatever I need to feel, but I refuse to let the actions of others determine my next move. If I want to leave, it’ll be because of MY reasons, not as a result of disappointing and hurtful actions of others. Why should my hard work and dedication be poured down the drain due to the choices others have made? This is one of the tenets of spiritual life, so I will use this as serious practice. Our roots must be so firmly embedded into the foundation of life. We will naturally sway, some branches may break in the process, but if we let others uproot us and dig us up, then that’s on us. There will always be many things and people that will cause us to lose our footing. Use this as mineral rich soil. Take these hurts, challenges, and urges to flee and alchemize them into firmness, resolve, and commitment to your own foundation. No one but you determines your strength and belonging. Don’t stay in a space out of spite; everyone loses that way since that type of determination is based solely externally. Rather, use your god given judgement and inner wisdom to know when it’s time to keep planting or when to pack it in and relocate. Whether you visualize passing feelings and phenomena as swaying branches on a strong tree trunk, waves in the ocean, clouds in the sky, or bubbles in the stream, know that you are far bigger than anything happening, certainly way bigger than the happenings of others. Let’s use these times of external anger and frustrations to travel further inward. Go deeper into your roots, and drink from the earth that wants to nourish you. Pay attention to what’s happening around you, but decide to stay as unaffected as you are able. Hold strong to the vision you have for how you want to be in life. No one can take that away from you. That’s the advice I got for today, hope it helps.
Mostly Homemade Pomodoro
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This sauce is killer. I just served it to friends for dinner yesterday and they couldn’t get over it. It’s legit homemade, but the hack part is that I added a cup of my favorite jarred sauce to the final step in the food processor (big deal). What’s great about that is that is that you can easily multiply the quantity if you’re having more guests than you expected. It also adds a kick if you choose to add a spicy Fra Diavolo sauce. This little trick also smooths out the sauce, in case younger, picky eaters get freaked out by the slightest hint of an actual vegetable. Best of both worlds, folks; the unbeatable smell and prep of fresh tomatoes, garlic, and onions, and a smooth, flavorful sauce that will leave fork twirlers (like myself) super satisfied. Be very proud of your homemade efforts here. This freezes well. It makes a great dip for zucchini sticks, garlic bread/focaccia, and fried fish tenders.
Ingredients:
10 to 12 ripe, firm large vine tomatoes cut into quarters or sixths (if very large)
4 big fresh garlic cloves, cut in quarters
2 cups chopped white or yellow onion
Cup fresh basil
A cup of your preferred jarred tomato sauce
Olive oil, salt, pepper
Oven to 415. Mix the tomatoes, garlic, onions, 1/3 cup olive oil, 1 1/2 salt, 1 tsp pepper in a large pan. Roast until tomatoes begin to lightly brown, about 45 min. The tomatoes give off liquid, which kept my onions and garlic from browning/burning. Watch the onion though after 30 minutes, since each oven is different. It’s important the tomatoes cook thoroughly to bring out all their delicious flavor. Let cool to release steam, about ten minutes.
Add all contents of pan to a food processor, juice included. Add another 1/3 cup olive oil, the fresh basil (keep a couple perfect leaves for garnish), the cup of sauce, and pulse a few times to combine but keep some texture. Adjust salt and pepper to taste. I added 1/2 tsp each of salt and pepper. Check you out, creating your own little Italian bistro!
Summer Garden Wedding
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Such a pretty look for an outdoor summer wedding! The new covid wedding model is hopefully here to stay. Far more intimate guest lists make for a ceremony surrounded only by your nearest and dearest. Plus, these more casual dress codes are definitely more comfortable, while still looking fresh and lovely. A flowing floral dress is light, sweet, and sexy. It’s such a feminine, romantic vibe. This Love Shack Fancy dress is a one and done. All I needed were these yummy pink mules, though clearly I was more than happy being barefoot of the grass. This look is all about romance, perfect for celebrating the happy couple. Fresh makeup in shades of pink added to the seasonal color scheme. Tip; always carry cute flats to an outdoor event. The one sinking into the ground with her heels because she refused to chill about her shoes; don’t be that person.
