Don’t Wait

You know those Instagram posts where senior citizens give life advice to the rest of us? I love those; I love older people, their wisdom, and the instant shot of perspective that comes with many decades of life experience. We would do well to heed even part of their suggestions. They know what they’re talking about and are generous to share with us what they know to be true. And here’s the thing: these precious pieces of advice are so obvious, simple, and clear. Yet we often need to hear them from other sources and even more so, we agree with them but ignore them anyway. It’s so sad and curious when the resonance is so clear and we still look away for whatever the reason. Inner wisdom is often no match for habitual, subconscious behavior. It’s hard to not pay attention to wisdom coming from people who are in the final stages of life. They have learned valuable lessons and felt the sting of regret. They likely know how to spend the remainder of the precious, fading time they have left. They know there’s no more time to waste on foolishness in any direction.
And so I’ve been asking myself: what the hell am I waiting for to follow deeply sage advice?? Until I’m 90?? What is the point of stopping to read such advice and then continue on with all the useless bullshit that eats up my time, energy, focus, and my mental/emotional/spiritual resources?
So let’s make a list together. The thing with any list is that is just words on a page until we turn them into actions and choices. It’s enough sleepwalking through life, and we all do it in our own ways (and in many ways that are the same). This is purely an experimental template for us to keep considering. I’m in no position to offer a golden list of wisdom and perspective to anyone. As long as we are alive our lists can be too. We can adjust and tweak them as needed as we gain a better understanding of how we truly want to live our lives. What’s on your list of things that must wait no longer? What would you tell your younger self from where you’re currently standing? What do you imagine yourself in old age telling your current self? What advice have you been given that belongs on such a list? Whatever your answers, please see this an an invitation to do it now. The end of our lives are no more important than this very moment. It all matters and there’s really no time to waste. We’ve got one shot here in this particular time and space. Let’s go.

Remove oneself from genuinely toxic relationships. Leave with peace and wish the other party well from afar. Grudges only hurt ourselves and destroy us from the inside.

Know that we have choices in who gets access to us. Our lives are not a free for all.

We at all times either choose love or fear. Choose love every single time. Fear must never drive the bus.

Therapy is essential in clearing out what holds us back. It’s as important as any other doctor or specialist. We are worth the time, money, and effort it takes to clean up our lives. When we don’t we hurt ourselves and everyone around us.

No excuses, only accountability, apologies, and changed action.

Be consistent in helping those less fortunate, in ways that may not occur to us initially. Use our innate generosity to connect with whoever needs help. Don’t discriminate. We are all deserving of kindness and help.

Judgement of self and others is a waste of time. Shaming ourselves helps no one. Stop it.

Don’t obsess over 5 pounds.

Be on time. Be aware of how we affect others when we are late. Consider the impact of our behavior at all times. We are dominoes. 

Eye contact always. Always.

Way less time on devices. Devices don’t care about us, our people do. Life does and we ignore life when we are sucked in to screens.

Only spend time with people and things that are nourishing in some way. Life is to be enjoyed, not endured. Choose wisely.

Buy way less stuff.

Pay attention to what life is serving up in each moment: singing birds, blooming flowers, the surrounding colors of nature. We aren’t separate from any of it. It’s longing for our attention.

Learn about indigenous cultures and wisdom; they know how to be alive in ways lost to most of us.

Untangle any biases we hold. They are pointless. The world needs more unity, even in our thoughts.

Never litter. We wouldn’t want to be treated that way.

Chase joy, water it constantly.

Acknowledge everyone. People need to feel seen, even in a glance.

Remind ourselves constantly that the world is much bigger than our problems. Our problems aren’t unique and shouldn’t get nearly as much airtime as they do. Pain is a part of life. It’s not the headliner.

Spend time in nature daily.

Be more patient with everything and everyone. Patience feels better than getting tight and frustrated.

Dance. No skills required.

Develop a close relationship with the earth. It really is our home, that’s not kumbaya fluff.

Allow for deep affection and caring. Give and receive. Work through any discomfort around it, it’s worth it.

Learn, travel, read, explore. Use our senses to absorb the experience of actually being alive.

Contemplate the meaning of life and act in a way that honors it.

Develop a serious spiritual practice. It’s a constant companion. It helps with everything.

Be a source for good in the world. We are God’s vessels for this. The gym is important but it’s not while we are here.

Don’t invent problems before they arrive (they likely won’t in the ways we’ve predicted). The mind loves to go looking for trouble. Just be here now with direct experience.

Be less controlling and more trusting. Trust begins with self.

Express freely our love to our people. They need to know and we need to say it.

Allow for surprises, plot twists, and miracles. They can’t show up if we’ve chosen to shut them out.

Write thank you notes.

Make albums.

Do less. Be more.

Don’t give unsolicited advice. WAIT: why am I talking? Such an important question. Our opinions matter way less than we believe.

Connect with the force of breath that literally keeps us alive. It’s life force being pumped through us.

Live in a way that makes death ok, without regret. To be here fully is to exit gracefully.

Pay far less attention to our thoughts. They are just passing through. Don’t let them dictate quality of life.

Don’t wait to feel freedom. It’s how we were born, it’s how we die. It’s the in between space that gets caught in all the things that keep us from feeling free. Don’t get caught.  Babies don’t come in nets.