A Poem About Betrayal

I recently read this poem for my seniors at the nursing home. I regularly lead community sessions on various spiritual and religious topics. Betrayal, a deeply painful theme, had been popping up in many of my individual visits so I wanted to bring it up in group. It’s a topic that is so seldom discussed; it’s one of the kinds of pain that cuts so deep that many of us have absolutely no idea how to begin to approach it. Discussing the darkest parts of the human experience is often very intimidating because we simply don’t have the language for it. It’s hard enough to experience it, and there’s something about bringing pain into the light that feels rightfully frightening. Betrayal in particular can bring up massive waves of shame; how could they have treated me like that? What’s wrong with me that I’m on the receiving end of such treatment? Don’t they love me? Don’t I deserve love/kindness/care? These are some of the questions that I hear in discussions about betrayal, and they are questions I have asked myself when I have experienced it. Betrayal is so confusing, especially from people who claim to love us. It comes in many forms to varying degrees. Our loved ones and not loved ones can make us feel betrayed, our bodies can make us feel betrayed, Life/God/the government/teachers/doctors whom we are relying on, the list goes on because we are all very vulnerable to all kinds of hurt. Disappointment seems to be lurking everywhere.
One of the biggest forms of betrayal is in how we treat ourselves. I have certainly betrayed myself countless times in all sorts of ways, and no doubt you’d find people in my life (some of whom I love dearly) who have felt betrayed by me. I have yet to meet one person who has not experienced visceral betrayal on some level. It’s one of the hardest parts of human relationship. We must learn how, and have the courage to do so, to meet our suffering or it will destroy us from the inside out. Read that again.
The day we had our group talk on this topic I was irritated and felt ill equipped to lead such a discussion. I myself do not have the language for this but it was clear it was important to invite into the room, to make it safe and acceptable for people to share and express if they wanted to. It’s a comfort to know and feel that we do not go through pain alone. I find it alleviates shame and feelings of alienation when we can turn to a neighbor for resonance, honesty, and recognition. Admitting and exposing our struggles deepens relationships by inviting intimacy and vulnerability into a dynamic. There’s nothing wrong with any of us. We all go through lots of shit we don’t deserve.
This poem was very well received by the seniors. They described it as profound and asked for copies. Perhaps it will resonate with you. I’m curious what your interpretation of Love’s words are here… How would you respond to Love as it’s presented? How do Love’s words make you feel?