So Many Likes!

A few weeks ago one of my favorite comics, Jordan Jensen, posted a clip of her doing crowd work on IG. I loved the bit and made a comment, as I often do. My comment was witty but nothing to write home about. I began to get notifications about others liking my comment,  and the brain chemicals that fire off from social media involvement began to dance. As more like notifications poured in the dance got louder and more manic. What began with me being tickled about 100 likes became me feeling like a comic genius at OVER 3,100 likes. I feverishly checked my rise in validation continuously throughout the days, watching my approval rating as though I was a stock broker tracking the market. I sent my friend, a professional NYC comedian, regular updates. I felt like I should go get a job in some brilliant writers room somewhere in LA, a position I have often envisioned myself having. It was very interesting to observe myself, a Buddhist practitioner, get so ensnared in the crack hits of acknowledgment that Instagram provides. I really freaking enjoyed thousands of people finding my comment funny. Now, of course, there’s nothing wrong with feeling gratified at feeling seen and appreciated. It’s healthy and part of being a human who needs belonging and acceptance on the primal level. But as we all know, one of the unhealthy aspects to social media is the literal drug induced high we get from likes, comments, replies, shares etc. It can make one crazy in so many ways, and it’s undoubtedly the cause of tremendous delusion in numerous directions. It makes us feel on top of the world if we feel seen/accepted/acknowledged/appreciated and can really lead to delusions of grandeur. It’s a false sense of self. The underbelly side is that it notoriously causes many people to become depressed/lonely/alienated/ unacknowledged/unseen/forsaken. In the most extreme cases it can lead to suicide, especially when relentless cruelty is wielded in the form of cyber bullying. Social media is its own unique kind of heaven and hell, and many people are not equipped to psychologically handle it. It is one of the easiest traps to fall into and it requires real self awareness to not let it get to us; no one is great or terrible as determined by likes and comments. It’s a social trick to let ourselves be defined one way or the other, and it takes us so far away from ourselves when we base our opinions of our own existence on this fickle, 3D matrix of a scale. The algorithm is a very fair weather friend. It is often an enemy. Point being, it’s just like anything else in that it’s something to enjoy and use, but we cannot let it be the barometer for which we measure our lives. Life is full of things to enjoy and use as tools, many of them “status” giving. It’s our responsibility to relate to them in a realistic way that doesn’t cloud our view of ourselves. 
None of this is news, I’m not claiming originality here; but it was amusing to watch myself get so quickly sucked in to the vortex. It was a reminder to see my ego as a ravenous, never satisfied entity of my being and accept that as its nature. The hungry ghost in each of us loves this shit. It feeds on the algorithm, rabidly seeking approval from complete strangers. Bots even. 
I love social media for many reasons, and I’m glad it’s likely here to stay. Adding to that list of reasons is the crucial reminder to stay grounded in the face of likes and dislikes, to listen to feedback without letting it inflate or infect my sense of self. To not be attached to the opinions of others or even my own. To observe and not absorb. I chomp at the bit so fast, whether it’s liking or commenting on someone else’s posts (I only write positive things) or gulping down what others post to me. It’s something I’m always working on, the pause which creates a space in which I can ask myself, “does this align with the values I vowed to have?” “Must I participate here?” I feel small victories daily when I engage in social media more consciously. I will absolutely continue to enjoy it as well as observe my relationship to it. It’s a not small part of my life which means it requires a hefty degree of awareness and non attachment. Hell yeah, it felt good to have so many people enjoy my expression on that comedian’s page(check out Jordan Jensen btw, she’s awesome). Part of the reason likes feel good is because they make our creative offerings feel received, and joking comments are meant to be laughed at. It’s all part of the fun and fun is essential to life.
 It’s clear I have more work to do in the way of this particular type of non attachment, which is fine. Observe, learn, integrate small changes. One like at a time. And if I do wind up with the cool kids in a writers room one day, you heard it here first.