7/4/2022

I’m having a tough time this July 4th weekend. The fireworks and festivities meant to celebrate freedom feel icky. How am I firing up the grill after reading about a 10 year old rape victim being denied an abortion? What is free about gay and trans right being supposedly next on the chopping block? When some 80 year old stranger with a penis feels he can decide what’s right and healthy for a nation of women and girls while the rest of the world looks on in horror and disbelief at our broken judicial system, I simply can’t roll with a frivolous pool party. I cannot even fathom what the Native American community must feel during these weekends in which the rest of us celebrate autonomy and independence. It’s the ultimate in gaslighting because it’s much easier and more comfortable for us to shove their pain, mistreatment, and trauma aside. Yay, hot dogs and cotton candy!
To clarify, I am a proud American. I love this country and get really agitated when people bitch and moan about how much it sucks, how they’re all moving to Canada the second something isn’t how they feel it should be (I have yet to see one person follow through with this). I have met many people from various counties across the world who came here for a better life. At least the ones I’ve spoken to seem to say the same thing: that Americans are spoiled, ungrateful babies who have no freaking idea how good they have it. You don’t like your president? Go try living in a war torn country where your father has to hide you in the basement when enemy soldiers come knocking daily to rape you (true story). Or how about living under constant fear of forced genital mutilation, or behind Russia’s Iron Curtain in the 80’s as a Jew living in terror of being imprisoned? The list of international active genocides, devastating economic crises, and religious persecution is long, just to name a few of the conditions that make daily life so painful and hard. Does standing on a bread line or working in a sweatshop at the age of 5 sound like a better alternative to living in the United States?? As political commentator Bill Maher says, the “giant dorm room bitch session in America” is pathetic, ignorant, and uninformed. There is a lot to be upset about right now, and there are also tremendous freedoms and rights we have as American citizens. Religious freedom is huge for me and my family, since as Orthodox Jews we know all too well what it means to be tortured and murdered for who we are. Freedom of religious practice should not be a privilege; it should be a god given right to any group. Sadly, this is not so in many countries where it’s extremely dangerous to practice chosen religion. There are countries with no job opportunities, zero basic safety, extreme poverty, cruel dictatorships, no basic education, zero dental care, and where small children must forgo any type of schooling to work to help support their families. The grass is always greener, and it pains me that so many Americans love to shit on their own lawn, as if that’s going to help. Anger can be very productive when it drives change. If it’s whining in a Starbucks for the tenth time that week…. chances are even Canada might ultimately be a disappointment. One of my pet peeves is when Olympic athletes who have strived their entire lives to win the ultimate prize, a gold medal on the American team, will throw some kind of tantrum as a Fuck You towards the same country they claim to represent, a country who has supported them in their road to competition. So you’ll take the Nike endorsement deal but this country sucks? Try throwing a hammer against a wall in Serbia
and see how that works out for you monetarily. I can’t stand the hypocrisy. It’s a complain and take mentality. It accomplishes nothing except to set a public example to perpetuate the aforementioned giant dorm room bitch session.

How can we mourn and express rage towards
serious current injustice while simultaneously being grateful for the blessings and freedoms we do have? It’s a tough one but we must find a way to make it possible. If not, we collectively drown in bitterness or denial, both of which are unhealthy, destructive options.

I have tremendous respect, admiration, and gratitude towards all our armed forces. Their sacrifice is tremendous. Anyone willing to risk their lives to protect the freedoms of others deserves a shit ton of fireworks and parades. Their bravery and sacrifice is all too real and even the most disillusioned citizen owes them a debt of thanks.

Last night I went to DJ for July 4th weekend. I wore my slutty American flag t shirt (I like to be on brand) and planned and played a great set. In the Uber there, I told the driver I was feeling conflicted about partying right now. Certain crucial things aren’t free right now, and it felt gross to pretend like everything’s fine when it’s so not. It’s really so not, and yet and yet and yet…
As I played music and observed the crowd enjoying themselves as they ought to, I was overcome with emotion at seeing folks enjoy the simple yet wonderful pleasures of hanging out, photographing the sunset, laughing, dancing, and being together. My heart flip flopped between heavy and happy as hearts will do. And when I can allow both those feelings to share space in that emotionally limitless organ in my chest, then I’ve hit a sweet spot where I can let it all be. This, dear Friends, is freedom. May we practice inner independence as a means to face external challenge, injustice, and pain. May we feel into our blessings as much as we feel into our hurt.