How to Be Angry — Ten Percent Happier
/Ah, Anger. Learning how to work with this force of emotion is such an uncomfortable exploration, but without getting to know anger intimately we can drown in it (at least I can). Anger, like all feelings, isn’t “bad”. There is so much shame around feeling angry, losing our shit while enraged, and disappointment in succumbing to the rage monster. Shouldn’t I know better by now? Why is that person still getting to me when I have a list of legitimate reasons why I shouldn’t get swept away by this story anymore? Am I really getting worked up over the past or an imagined future? We question anger because it’s such an uncomfortable tidal wave that gives rise to even more unpleasantnesses: physical constriction, a clenching of the muscles, pounding of the chest, tightening of the throat, and however else each individual body holds it. Anger is held by the liver, and a sick liver cannot do it’s job. The rest of the body will eventually shut down without proper liver function. One of the best, healthiest, kindest things we can do for ourselves is to study our emotions and how they take up residence in our bodies. What goes in must come out, and if powerful emotional forces are never released we will grow sick. Vietnamese Zen monk Thich Nhat Hahn compares anger to a screaming child that needs to be soothed. A shrieking baby needs love, patience, and attention in order for it to calm down. In my experience, working with my strongest emotions and hindrances such as anger, doubt, and fear has provided such relief and freedom in knowing that I don’t have to be stuck and trapped in my feelings, and I certainly don’t need to feel shame around them. There is always what to be angry about, so it’s crucial to learn how to meet anger with skillful means and inner wisdom. Please let me know if this article speaks to you and if it’s helpful. Sharing information in this community gives me comfort that we are all in this together. I can know your anger because I know mine.
