A List

Things I’ve done in 2021 (that make me smile):

Traveled to Spain with my girls.

Became a chaplain intern in a Senior community.

Led a Christmas service.

Received the Buddhist precepts and a dharma name with the New York Zen Center for Contemplative Care.

White water rafted.

Spent the day at a goat farm.

Went apple picking in the rain.

Learned to bake authentic French Macarons.

Took beautiful photo shoots.

Upped my meditation game.

Began communicating with someone in the prison system (with an alias and a PO Box).

Hosted an epic Rosh Hashanah dinner.

Invented new meals for my family.

Reached out randomly to several famous comedians who answered me back.

Had a full page spread in Elle UK.

Prioritized scheduled rest and downtime.

Ate more pizza and fries unapologetically.

Found much increased peace and contentment as a currently single woman (so proud of this one).

Established a deeply gratifying balance between Judaism and Buddhism, both which I feel equally at home in.

Examined my unhealthy habits, patterns, and conditioning with far more honesty and scrutiny than ever before. And with no judgement, a first!

DJ’d virtually for an orphanage in Israel.

Did a weeklong silent retreat online from home (was amazing to experience myself at home in such a different way).

Read wonderful books.

Lead some guided meditations.

Met many new people.

Began to come more and more into my own worthiness and know fully that I’m deserving of boundless, unconditional love and care (only took me 43 years).

Made peace with the death of a very close loved one.

Accepted that I can only rescue myself (only took me 43 years).

Energetically buried painful, old attachments to family of origin with peace and no anger (only took me 43 years).

Watched The Great British Baking Show with my son. We love it!

Thought of countless creative ideas, some I’ll use some I won’t.

Finally learned to be unafraid to release unhealthy and damaging romantic patterns (only took me 43 years). My trust muscle has become so strong. When I get scared, the zen mantra of “no doubt” helps immediately, because I fully believe it. The dharma wheel is always turning, with no surplus and no lack. This is medicine for me.

Had conversations with my son about the chakras, upon his inquiring. He also loves feeling Tibetan meditation bells when I sometimes ring them for him at night. Such a joy to expose my kids to this.

Felt no need to run around and do/see/experience constant external sources of stimulation. Exploring and enjoying the world is great, yet I’ve been just as happy seeking nothing. It’s a relief. It means I like myself and my life so much more (only took me 43 years).

Truly learned to appreciate and cherish myself, as I understood how to reparent Me.

These are the things that presently come to mind, I’m sure there are more. Many of these things I never in a million years thought I’d do, which is why it’s so beautiful and gratifying to write them out. I lived in a constant state of panic when I thought my life would never contain freshness, newness, variety, opportunities, possibilities for expansion and growth. All that sameness and predictability felt innately wrong. It felt like fear because it was, and fear multiplies. It takes courage to break out of the expected, and to embrace the unexpected.
What will you embrace in 2022? Will yourself be included in that embracing?
It’s time.