Open Mind vs Open Heart

To mix things up, I’m not going with an open heart here. This time I’m letting the mind work for me in a way that it’s meant to serve me productively; by employing good judgement.

If you read these posts regularly then

A) thank you

B) you have read me yammer on about how I mostly live from my heart space instead of letting the monkey mind be the puppeteer.

I do abide by that philosophy most of the time. The heart is more open and instinctive while the head can really mess with you. Overthinking, under thinking, over analyzing, scanning the environment for reasons why everything sucks, you get the drift. The head is a tough place to live but a great and needed tool when we think and assess skillfully. As the famous quote says, “the mind is a wonderful servant but a terrible master”. Your mind is not you. It’s merely a part of you. It doesn’t have, nor should it, govern your entire being. So yes, while I have found that trusting heart based choices works for me often, I have been thinking about how when it comes to dating the mind may be more useful. At least in the beginning until the heart potentially takes over. I say this because I have been becoming less open minded in regard to romantic prospects. And I’ve gotta say it feels great. Why? Because as I continue to come into my own I am sharper on what will or won’t work for me. And I’m unapologetic about what won’t.

When I first began this journey I was so open minded. I wanted to give people a chance. I trusted the Universe to bring me what I need with much naïveté. I led purely with my heart. Guess what? I DID need all those experiences to lead me to this very point of being way less open minded. It’s time for rationale and judgement to help guide me here. Certain factors and circumstances just do not make sense for me and I’m not caving. I actually did something this morning that I’d never done before. I was approached, had a brief conversation about his current circumstances, and responded with that at the stage I’m at now, it makes sense for me to date someone who is much more settled in their home and divorce process. Previously I’d have never wanted to offend someone. I’d have “trusted” that this person was perhaps sent to me and I should give it an open minded try. I believe he was sent to me; to test me to see if I’m finally able to draw lines and set inner boundaries. Then he asked for my number to be friends(whatever) and I declined. I did say he could reach back out in a few months should he become more settled. I doubt I’ll hear from him and that’s totally fine. I felt good because I was able to mentally assess a situation and act accordingly in a way that articulated and honored my needs. I no longer feel I need to be so open minded. Not right now. Now I’m really closing in on what I have learned works for me. I’m open to the right opportunity but I’m using my heart for other things at the moment. The energy that lives there is precious. I work to keep it open and balanced but it’s not for everyone. I’ve got a really good head on my shoulders. It’s time to use it more discerningly. Judgement, the right kind, is a necessary means of survival. If life is a dance between the head and the heart, then I don’t mind letting my head take the lead.