Body Goals

This post isn’t what you think; it’s not about dieting and working out. Rather, it’s about the new way I have begun to view my physical body, which is that it’s a vehicle for service. As well meaning and sincere as I am, make no mistake; I am vain too. I care how I look. I hate the word “vain” since it has such an obnoxious, negative connotation. I believe it is very important to invest in our appearance. We are the stewards of these bodies. We are meant to care for them, respect them, nourish them, and enjoy them. A healthy body is such a blessing that must not be taken for granted. I have enjoyed caring for my appearance since I was little. I was always in the know about new products, creams, and styling tips. I have been religiously moisturizing all over since high school. Since I’m fairly disciplined, I’m not the type to lapse in and out of self care. It’s simply a welcome part of my routine, and I keep adding to it as I learn new things. Dry brushing my skin to exfoliate and kickstart the lymphatic drainage system, yoga, body oils, some Ayurveda, and lots of vitamins are examples of things I’ve added to my regular bodily self care. It feels really good to be so mindful of this body, which is in essence, the home for my soul.

Last year, while on silent retreat, I recited the meal Gatha, the prayer before eating. I have been saying Hebrew blessings on my food since childhood, but the zen meal gatha included a line saying, may this food nourish this body and May this body be worthy of receiving this food. I loved that so much. It drove home the point that our bodies are so precious, in that they are meant to be used as vessels to add good to the world. As women, our bodies are extra miraculous, since we are tasked with carrying and delivering new life.
The more aware I become of my breathing, the more connected I am to my body. The clearer my breath, the more expansive I feel. The more spaciousness I create, the more I get in touch with loving and giving. Giving and connecting, being of service, is the point to life. I know so many people of both genders who literally run themselves into the ground, obsessively exercising, but who don’t seem particularly comfortable with themselves, or with life. This proves that “being skinny” isn’t the key to anything. I have reached the point where if I’m not actively using my physicality to serve my fellow man, than there is no point to my existence. That sounds extreme, but our existence is a huge freaking deal. I owe it to myself to be healthy and physically capable, so that I have the energy to add to the collective. I don’t want to live neutrally in cruise control, doing the same thing over and over until I fade away. I love taking care of myself (and that absolutely includes an occasional nap or cookie), and the more I feel good, the more good feelings I have to spread around. I’m not talking about the endorphins of a workout, which are great, but more so the increasing amount of inner feelings of well being, that put me in a space of love and appreciation. A big sign of healing is when we stick to positive habits and rituals that serve us. That’s why it also feels nice to care for my body, it’s an act of loving kindness. Working out until we can no longer stand or constantly depriving ourselves, is neither loving nor kind. It is pretty clear those acts don’t translate into an increase in true inner peace.

Recently I have begun visiting with an elderly man in my neighborhood. I have been putting this off for over a year, and I’m not sure why. It had been weighing on me. I don’t like not following my intentions. As I was enjoying a (socially distant) lunch with my new friend, I was overcome with gratitude in having a young, healthy body that can do good in the world. The point to being alive was a very present knowing, as I connected to this gentleman. He happens to be a Holocaust survivor, so the theme of continuity was prevalent. Do I want to look good? Of course. I enjoy being a girl.  But I also know from my own experiences, that while it can bring satisfaction, it doesn’t bring true joy. I don’t want my epitaph reading, “she worked out 6 days a week and was always pissed she never had cake”. Don’t laugh, but my SLT workouts also add to my mindfulness. SLT is a famously hard AF workout, and it places crazy focus on each muscle group, muscles I didn’t know I had. SLT also requires slow, controlled movements. We build muscle not by relying on momentum; instead, by exercising restraint and focus, we become stronger. This, along with yoga and walking, is how I care for my body right now. Walking is very mindful for me as well; I use it as presence practice. Feeling the air on my skin, the ground beneath my feet, and being out in nature. The more in tune I am to my physical being, the more in tune I become with understanding why it was given to me.
One of the hardest ways to live, is to grapple with the age old question, “why are we here? What is the point to life?” This existential inquiry can lead to suicide, that’s how powerful it is. To feel purposeless is a miserable way to live, just as the more we become sure of our purpose, the more joyful life becomes. I want to be a channel and a vessel for so many human things. I need my human body in order to do that.

May we be worthy of, and nourish, our bodies, so that they can be of service to both ourselves, our loved ones, and the greater human collective.