Clarity is a Skill
/I read this last week and it blew my mind. When four little words strung together make such an impact that’s a powerful thing. I can be both proud of my utter clarity at times and blown away by my lack there of during others. Someone can confide in me and I can assess the situation accurately from afar, and then I’ll be practically staring at another set of facts and miss the mark entirely. I recently was faced with a situation that most people with half a brain would have fled from. Um, so I can’t find my shoes but am just going to bolt now anyway...; that kind of fleeing. Of course we all know it’s easier to have clarity when we aren’t personally involved or entrenched. When we are in the middle of a scenario we will always unconsciously bring our deeply ingrained stories into the mix. We make up false realities based on old unmet needs, and assumptions based on transference and projections. It’s a mess that creates a fog that we can’t see through. When I do eventually wake up, and this can take months or years, and I’m standing on the other side of the wall, it’s astounding to me what I did not see. Whether we aren’t actually seeing it or are refusing to see it are also things that we need to get curious about. But I take great comfort in learning that clarity is a skill that we can work to develop. It’s never hopeless; you’re not a blind dummy and neither am I. We aren’t stupid or delusional. We just haven’t learned how to hone this skill. Btw, I often struggle with which pronouns to use: I or We. I don’t ever mean to assume you have the same crap that I do, though it’s part of the human condition so chances are you do. I usually pick the royal “we” to avoid making this The Jessica Show, not in order to drag you into anything. As a reader I like the “we” since I find the collective to be a comfort. We are all in this together and can all help each other. I like knowing I’m being helped. See? Even my seemingly simple pronoun choices are loaded with personal narratives. It feels unavoidable since our unconscious unawareness is so deeply embedded. Our habits of missing truth stems from so many things, but they are all things we have the power to bring to the surface and examine. As we examine them we begin to gain a clarity that is empowering. It feels very good to engage wisely in situations. As I’m writing this I’m faced with a situation. I know exactly what my unconscious patterning wants to do and I know exactly what my truth is telling me. I know the right move and the wrong move. I know what my ego is saying vs what my spirit guides are saying. You should know I’m talking about whether or not to text someone. That’s how intense these battles for clarity can be, over the most minor things. I am clear this man and I don’t have a future. Last week I was not. There was literally a huge neon billboard on the West Side Highway with the words “kosher, sustainable, and available” that must have been written about me (not the new free range chicken being sold at Fairway). I told him that this sign was a sign, so part of me was clear while other more powerful forces shut that clarity down. When we aren’t seeing life clearly we are in this myopic trance based on need and lack. We spin reality in numerous directions based on how we need it to be, not how it just is. That’s why when the spiritual teachers talk about resting in the Is-ness it’s not easy. We don’t want what is, we want it to be different. They don’t say it’s easy; they have come to know this because they are human too. It’s not easy so we run from it. But then we wind up back at square one which never feels good long term, often not in the short term either. Clarity is so necessary to be fully alive. There’s no way around that. I found it tremendously comforting to know I can practice getting clearer on clarity. If two people can see the same thing so differently, then obviously our views are subjective. We make ourselves the subject to a staggering degree even when it has nothing to do with us. Clarity has very little to do with actual vision. It’s not eye based. All our sense abilities should be done with our whole bodies. Seeing with our entire being, with your heart and your gut, is what helps lift the fog. Questions are an essential part of this practice. What am I not seeing but know is real? Why am I not seeing this clearly? How am I robbing myself of clarity at this moment? Why does my patterning need to turn a blind eye? How am I killing this experience by refusing to bring clarity? These are all similar inquiries that are all intended to start to chisel away at our hysterical blindness. It’s crucial to not berate ourselves for any of this. That too isn’t seeing clearly; that it’s not your fault and it’s human nature. To examine and notice without judgement is a life altering practice. Ok, this is here. Whatever it is that arose so will also fall away. Both clarity and it’s opposite are also states of impermanence. We are never stuck but only if we commit to learning how to gain new insight. The truth is clear, it’s we who are not. But we can get there with dedication and patience. Honoring the space between observation and reactivity is necessary, giving ourselves time to pause and adjust our glasses. Medically I have 20/20 vision. Spiritually we all do. Mentally and emotionally most of us are blind. But it’s clear that to begin to change is just to make a choice, and to make it over and over again. The best part is is that unlike most learned skills like knitting or judo, this one is already within. It’s not an outside job. You may need a teacher, I have many, but the ability to see clearly was gifted to you at birth. Polish it well and see your reflection. Truth is always there, waiting to be seen.