#DREAMZ 💿💿

You know when you have those intensely magical moments, in which you are so acutely aware that everything that's ever happened to you has led to a certain point? And you are so overcome with divine trust in both the universe and yourself, that the only thing left to do is to weep with gratitude? I had such a moment recently, and it will easily go down as one of the epic events over the course of my entire life span. No matter what age I will ultimately live to be, this event will be a major highlight. And I'm talking about a life that will contain many epic moments, since I'll do everything in my power to make that so.

Over the past year and a half, since the Jessie ship was steered in a new direction, I am continuously blown away by what "the universe" has offered me. I put that in quotes since that term is so grossly overused and diluted, but there is no question an unseen force that is constantly at work to meet us vibrationally.  In my quest for self study and understanding, I am learning to clearly see all the invitations the universe has hand written for me. These invitations manifest in the form of other humans, opportunities, physical changes, exact moments, and emotions I never paid attention to because they were scary and unpleasant. The universe can offer away, but only does so when we are ready to accept these invitations. What usually causes us to decline is fear. Fear of failure, fear of change, fear of growth, fear of mistakes, fear of embarrassing ourselves, and fear of what others will think/say. Fear is evil. It fucks us up tremendously. The good news, however, is that it's not at all permanent. It is a force to drive out, but it is indeed possible, and frankly necessary in order to live your fullest life. Fear is what took me so long to enroll in DJ school two years ago. It is what made me shlep a friend to my first semester of classes, which is soooo unlike me; I often write about how I'm very comfortable going places solo. Listen, fear is a human emotion. I no longer chastise myself for having it. Any thought or feeling on the human spectrum of emotion is an experience we are meant to have. It's how we then go on to handle it that determines the course of our lives.

Since I've opened up my life, all kinds of wonderful (and some not) people have popped up in it. I allowed for this by clearing space. It's logic; out with the old, in with the new. I met James through Federica. If you're a longtime reader, firstly, I love you so much. Secondly, you may recall an article I wrote about my contractor, Al, back in August. Al is Federica's father. Their entire family has been a gift in my life. It's almost impossible to quantify the relationship I have with them. So I meet James through Fed. We hang out, we play, we enjoy life together. Like attracts like. James is super fabulous and works in the NYC hotel industry. He's the kindest, most generous guy. That he has killer fashion sense and the coolest collection of eyeglasses is an added bonus. Oh, and we love the same music, which we discovered while clubbing in Brooklyn. Several weeks ago, I'm sitting in a doctor's waiting room and I get a life changing email. Those are beyond cool, btw. They can make history. The Surrey hotel in NYC is launching the opening of their rooftop bar. They're looking for a fabulous DJ who can mix an old school Sinatra vibe with current/upbeat. James was like, you can definitely do this. This was a clear message from a higher force; Girl, you ready for this.

I am in no position to argue with nature, and nature is growth. Nature is change. Nature propels herself forward every damn day, revealing literal wonder and magic. Human beings are a function of nature, probably the most complicated species around, which is why we get all screwed up when we resist it. I read something on IG that I loved; how nature loves and supports courage. How once we hurl ourselves into the abyss, we find its really a soft featherbed. I have proof of this idea; I have lived it with all the twists and turns my life has taken. I started to view my head as a file cabinet. Sure, there was a cabinet of fear. But I also have a huge drawer of courage and strength. Not theoretically but actually. I now know that about myself. I have proof. So I imagined closing the fear drawer and opening the courage drawer. I so admire and envy people who simply do not feel scared, but right now that's not me. It might never be, and that's ok, as long as I manage my fears and don't allow them to govern my life. I so, so believe that the universe is caring for me and guiding me. I learned this through daily yoga and mediation practice. I can tell you life is a helluva lot more enjoyable when we believe. It just is. If I don't trust, then I'm choosing to invite doubt into my life, and we all know how that story ends. So I trusted the universe, who had sent me James, and I trusted James that I was intended for this moment in time. I trusted my DJ journey, which was ridiculed by some very small minded, unsupportive people that I knew.  I trusted my teacher at Scratch, who would never push me off a cliff if he didn't believe I could fly. He knows who he is, and he knows what the past couple of years have meant to me. How metaphorical they've been. Every time I allowed fear and doubt to cloud my vision, it was knowing that he was sure I could handle it that slammed the fear drawer shut. When the student is ready the teacher appears. Only this certain sensei at this certain dojo would have gotten me here. I'm crystal clear on that. When you know, you know...

So back to this incredible night. Picture it: a beautiful, chic rooftop bar on the famed NYC Upper East Side at the landmark Surrey hotel, the first hot evening of the season, beautifully dressed attractive people, sexy artwork on display by London artist Jimmie Martin, high end liquor flowing, delicious food being passed around, AND MUSIC. I mean, the place was bumping! Usually this rooftop bar features a live jazz band. They wanted a different feel to this event, and I was so proud to deliver that. No one expected that the chick in the silver Soul Train jumpsuit, could kick it with a Rat Pack vibe. I wanted to honor the hotel's history with Sinatra, Tony Bennett/Lady Gaga, Dean Martin, and Bobby Darin. It was a great way to kickoff the night. New York glittered with glamour and gravity. I then bumped it up with Motown, one of my favorite genres, and then some disco. After that it was clear I had the guests loose enough, and I hit them with 80's, 90's, and rap. My eclectic nature really had room to shine that night.

I know being a DJ is not about me; it's about the partygoers, but it feels so good to feed the people what they want. They often don't even know what they want to hear; that's my job. I love providing for people, and holding space with my energy. Watching the crowd was my favorite part. Anticipating what they'd like to hear, interacting, engaging, giving and receiving all our energies as one unit. It was beautiful. I have never felt more radiant or alive. This is musical connection, and I've been addicted to it my whole life. This is how I will transmit yogic philosophy; I will use music and words to fuse us together. We are all given different means of serving humanity. When people are with me for the night, whether they arrived to the party happy or sad, I will take care of them. I am energetically strong, I can handle everyone's moods. If they can just be in the moment and enjoy, then I've done my job. As I looked out onto the crowd, I felt so moved that one little Jessie made 300 people have a sick time. All of us just wants to be happy. All of us. We can't achieve that alone. We need each other more than is comfortable to admit. It can feel weak to admit we need others, but it isn't at all. A garden needs all kinds of flowers to be its most beautiful, a dish needs a variety of spices. Let's all just be here together. I had the time of my life that night. I have been beaming ever since. That night was a gift, but it was proof of all my dreams and determination. I wanted this for myself and I set out to get it. As I said, nature loves and rewards courage.

The magnitude of all this hit me as I lit my Shabbat candles after the gig. For years I prayed fervently to God to show me creative and spiritual fulfillment.  I had no idea how to get it, but I knew I was lost without it. This week, after blessing my family and the Sabbath, the words "thank you" just kept tumbling out. Over and over and over. It is true that gratitude is the key to happiness. I am grateful for my passion for music, grateful for my desire to share it, and grateful to every person who has taught me how to be a messenger of lyrics and melody. Everything in life begins with a dream, and the only one who can decide what that dream is is YOU. Do you realize how powerful that makes you?? Your dream lives within you. Fight your ass off to uncover it. Do whatever it takes for however long it takes. Try different avenues of excavation. Once you do, you will be catapulted into a richer existence. This is just how this works. You are worth it. You deserve it. You are ready. See you on the dance floor. I got you, I promise.

Love, DJ LADY BLAGA