Viki Jeanne

A few months ago I simply could not get up at 5:45 for my sunrise yoga class (I know, it sounds insane but it's so worth it). I went to another class with a new teacher from Baltimore, who had just arrived fresh from her Thai massage studies in Thailand (redundancy alert). I get very attached and accustomed to my routine, as most of us do, and truthfully when you aren't vibing with a new yoga teacher, it's annoying since the classes are long. This is obviously a lesson in non attachment and flexibility. In being open to new methods and new approaches. It's something we all need to work on, and it only serves us well. For every lousy experience there will be five amazing ones. Well, on this particular day I was introduced to Viki. It was yogi love at first sight. Glowing skin, a calming delivery, a radiance in her eyes, and a deep joy at having just come to our location to teach. What sold me on her was a sentence she said that I will never forget as long as I live. I have called upon it every single day since I first heard it. It was this, "I promise you, you are being taken care of". I have never been spoken to like that before, ever. It was a security I have never had, but I believed her immediately. As I sat grounded to the earth I did feel supported and sustained. Viki said this with such gentle conviction. I was blanketed in safety and love. Such a short phrase that is really all we need to know.

When we feel safe and cared for, we have courage and belief, which lead to pretty much everything. Adults need to hear this just as much as kids do. Think of how many times throughout the day you try to make your kids know they are safe and loved. Who tells this to us? So much adult nonsense comes from fear. If we did ever feel really enveloped and secure, we somehow detach from the root of that as we get older. And things go off the rails in our minds and lives. My orthodox upbringing had really helped me mold so easily to the belief I have in yoga, since faith and belief is built into my wiring. I am deeply grateful for that. I have never questioned God, a higher power, spiritual reincarnation, or the powers of nature. I know I am cared for by the elements because in Judaism we are trained to bless nature all the time. Jewish mysticism is so otherworldly, as is yogic philosophy. It's natural for me to draw from one belief system to the other. Fear is what holds us back from growth and change, for obvious reasons. In that one statement Viki released us from ever needing to rely on fear as a trap. It took my breath away in its truth, and it has allowed me to go forth. Most of my anxieties I previously clung too have melted away. I'm not afraid of change. I know I'll be ok. I have spent holidays and vacations differently than ever before. Forty years of doing something the same way can feel strange to deviate from. Nah, it really doesn't phase me. I feel excited and resilient. What did scare me prior, before I knew I was being taken care of, was living out identical years until I eventually died. That ate at me like crazy. Every change I have made, whether with grace or a measure of trepidation, I owe to my teachers. Sure it was myself too, but they hold my hands from afar. I have started trying to relay this message to my kids more. I don't know if I always did the best job, since I didn't feel safe myself. You can't give what you don't have. But my children seem pretty resilient and steady, which means maybe I've done better than I thought... It's never too early or late to hear these words. My gorgeous Viki, thank you for leaving Baltimore and teaching that class that day at that time. There are no accidents. Meeting you was proof I am indeed being taken care of. I believe you.

Love always, Jess